Yes you read it right,
There’s a difference between a conversation, an argument, a fight, and a struggle.
Do you find yourself unable to have healthy conversations with people “you care about?”
Are you always arguing to win but don’t know how to fight the right way (with the right weapons) for your relationships? Are your relationships a daily struggle?
- Don’t ever walk away: First advice only walk away unannounced if your life or someone else’s is in danger.
- ALWAYS Talk about what took place: come back after a break, (after letting the person know that a break is necessary) listen without interrupting, listen to understand what the other person is feeling, & saying, pray about it, don’t judge or try to correct. (You cannot correct other people’s feelings or emotions, with God’s agape love behaviors will eventually change).
- Honesty: always be honest with yourself, be respectful, and speak in God’s love. Love others as you want to be love!
- Flexibility: have a level of flexibility, be willing to give and take during the communication process, not everything that you hear will be what you like but be committed to self-love and have an open mind and listening heart. What you give is what you will take back.
- Trust: building trust is not an easy task, but it is A MUST. If trust was broken you have to work harder to regain that trust (are you willing?) Teach the person you care for them you are there for them and that they can count on you. Show them willingness to listen to their feelings, allow HEALTHY time for them to process their emotions and learn how to be of great support to strengthen the relation with yourself and others.
- Practice: allowing time to pass. You will experience anger (you’re human), sadness, confusion, PTSD (post-traumatic stress “distortive thinking”) yes (flashbacks) past trauma when new triggers remind you of the past. There will be moments when you might feel like “this is the exact reason why I can’t forgive”. However, allowing yourself (or the other person) time to process the thoughts, and for these thoughts to pass will bring things back to how they were prior to the intrusive thoughts.
If you need help navigating through your relationships or taking the time to sit down and listen or be listened to don’t hesitate to contact me. I am here for you.
Currently accepting national and international new clients for virtual sessions.
As always, with my best love!
©️2020 Denise Kilby New Hope Christian Life Coaching. All rights reserved.