This is who I am…
a mother of three blessings I get to call children; two boys and a girl, wife of a man from whom I’ve learn to build character everyday of our journey together. Blessed to know that I am a daughter of God. Board Certified Mental Health and Advanced Christian Life Coach.
Along the path of my life I have focused on growing as an individual, studying human behavior through Psychology and the word of God, to better serve others.
Life as I grew up…
…was pretty predictable. In a sense i felt like it was easy, just because I felt I knew what was to come with the day to day living. In a sense that was my perspective of it, back then and what I can recollect. Some of my early childhood memories are much of a blur, almost as if subconscious want to avoid remembering. Honesty, I can’t recall anything prior the age of four. I see this as a disguised blessing, but in part I wish I could remember living with my biological father. I am sure that out of the poor recollections of my early childhood memory they’re also many beautiful ones, that I must always seek to rediscover. Sadly as humans we store bad memories easier.
I was born in Pennsylvania (where I now reside as an adult), my mom moved to Puerto Rico when I was around the age of four with my 3 siblings, unsure of what took place before that, or what happened between my mother and my father, all I knew was that my life felt like it started when I was in the head-start program. I have one prior memory from that and that is being in a vehicle on a long trip and vomiting on a white dress, according to my mother that’s when we traveled to Puerto Rico to bury her father. Traumas, violence, and child abuse are more impactful to the memory than a trip to a park for fresh air…or a nice birthday party huh. This is because often times we dissociate as a coping mechanism, and become absent of what’s actually taking place, to protect ourselves from the imminent dangers around.
The head-start program was not even a block away from the projects where we lived, before that we lived at my grandmas for about a year I believe, but it must have been actually so great that I can’t find it in the pages of my memory book. I am telling you, life has a way of making memories. I used to walk to the head-start crying…missing my momma, with another group of kids and parents, and I believe my mom was always tired, or it was easier so I wouldn’t cry as much, she also worked in a Hanes factory for a little bit and again it must have been around the same time. Elementary school was a nightmare…I was heavily bullied and was called names from ape, a food names, objects or anything else in dark appearance, very rarely my name, in conclusion anything that they thought was insulting in nature and could hurt me. It worked. This gave me a false identity as I tried to blend in and become everything God didn’t say I was. It caused a lot of trauma and wounded my soul. However, somehow the dissociation worked in my favor academically. I had the best grades somehow, my focus was the books. But being bullied led me to bully others of course, have poor relationship skills, be socially awkward and make very poor choices as a pre-teen and teenager.
I suffered sexual molestation from an adult that should have cared for me, sexual offers and touches from peers I was supposed to have fun with and live the faith life, and in a sense abuse from older males and young adults that I knew were not physically attracted to me, but that at the time I wanted the intimate and physical connection and relationship with to find a sense of intimacy and affection with humans. That was the only type of affection and intimate connection that I knew coming from males at the time.
We moved back to grandmas…
…at this point I had lived and seen too much, from childhood molestation, domestic abuse, witnessed drug dealing, & drug abuse. My life had changed, but I something I always remember was that my mom had lived it, and through it all as well…empathy, can take you a long way in life.
After sometime I met my first husband, whom I believe was the sweetest person (still is a great guy), he never wanted anything more than I was willing to give. (He was already receiving it all, place else). I was only 13 at the time, my mother accepted to let me have a boyfriend and it was one of those rare occasions in which you wished your mother would had said no…after spending too many weekends alone babysitting my niece and nephew while my mom didn’t let me leave the house she allowed me alone time at home with my sweetheart. In the meantime she parties with my sister, trying to find her mate. I ended up with a 4 month pregnancy myself. The grand reveal happened at school when I fainted and they took me to the nurse, I was 16 weeks pregnant to my now 21 years old son.
Who was there to blame? To this day I believe my mother didn’t know any better, she was an unequipped victim of the circumstance. I moved out after giving birth and somehow I lived in poverty, physical sadness, and miserable conditions of the soul.
My mom and my brother came back to Pennsylvania…
…year after my mom and my brother left Puerto Rico I came to live with my brother who’s a year older than me, I never made it to high school in Puerto Rico, and here I came straight to “attempt to work”…that’s a long story… about 6 month later my first husband came and we got back together actually married in Bethlehem, PA and he enlisted the United States Navy.
I moved to Virginia…
…life was sweet, I was a military wife, I had a good life, everything I needed (materialistically speaking) to be happy I was a minor but everyone viewed me as I felt, and lived for years now, an adult, a mother, and a wife. I would drink like adults did, I would smoke cigarettes, I would engage in important conversations…I felt good. But, there was still that void, I was missing part of me…I was missing God, the giver of my essence.
I was still lacking communications skills, I was still socially awkward, jealous, unsecured, self-conscious… depression would come to resurface from time to time, making me anxious and it was reflected in my behavior. It was too good to be true… so I decided not to believe, and left him. I went to a lawyer, I packed up, and I abandoned him.
Moving back to PA…
…after years, of self destructive behaviors, depression, and anxiety that seem to have spiritually paralyzed me, and almost mentally disable me due to severity of my anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I knew I had to do something. I had two more children by then, and I reconciled with God.
I became self-aware, and encouraged to make a change.
I understood that Psychotherapy was good, talk therapy helped, research was good, and training the mind along with medication was a great tool to have in my tool box…but that wasn’t all. Just like me I understood that people have a need in resolving their issues, that need was urgent. People are ready to make a spin and have someone by their side who understands them, values them and holds them accountable, when needed, who can offer Christian care. People don’t only need to be pointed the path the must walk though they need someone to walk with them.
Most of the times they are ready to do it, now. Even when they don’t know how to take the first step. Individuals want to move past their traumas without much delaying the future and reminiscing in the past. I was one of them.
Is inspire with my testimony, empower with the word of God, encourage with reinforcement, and equip with tools that you can apply for the rest of your life. I want to help you help yourself and others, by instilling a positive change.
My vision is to help others live to their Full God Given Potential. My objective it to share my life vision with those who are blind-by pain or their current circumstance and have lost hope, becoming stuck in a rut but long for a life lasting change.
Interpersonal Conflicts and Self Development, Family Issues, Blended Families, Relationship Coaching, Marriage Coaching, Lay Counseling, Parent Coaching, Mindfulness and Self-awareness.
Panic attacks, depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, including sexual molestation, poverty, suicidal thoughts, & distorted thinking. I consider myself a victorious woman, who has been born for a time as this. These processes have equipped me to help others now.
Board Certified Mental Health & Advanced Christian Life Coach: maintaining the highest coaching, ethical and biblical standards of practice by the board of Christian Life Coaching. ACLC#291 International Board of Christian Care (IBCC) Chairman Tim Clinton, IBCC Director Robert B. Shaw
Diploma in Christian Life Coaching: Light University- Executive Board of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Board Certified Mental Health Coach: Member of the Board of Christian Life Coaches and International Board of Christian Care (BCLC) (IBCC).
Membership-Presidential Member of the AACC:
In good standing of the American Association of Christian Counselors with all honors and privileges.
CMHC101-Foundations of Mental Health Coaching: American Association Christian Counselors
C-MHC-201 Mental Health Coaching Skills: American Association Christian Counselors
C-MHC 301-Mental and Behavioral Health Disorders: American Association Christian Counselors
Advanced Christian Life Coach,
Life Coaching 201, Life Coaching 101: Light University -AACC:
CRIS: Domestic & Community Crisis Response: Liberty University- AACC
Blended Families: Light University-AACC
Parent Coaching: Light University- AACC
Coaching for Marital Satisfaction: Light University- AACC
CCOU-Breaking Free: Liberty University Online -AACC
CCOU-Caring for People God’s Way: Liberty University Online -AACC
CCOU-Marriage Works: Liberty University Online- AACC
120 Hours TESOL #100-88552: International Open Academy
Criminology and Profiling #100-90706: International Academy
My advise with the best love I have
“Don’t stop learning, becoming, and believing in yourself-there’s a world that needs your help”.
“Are you prepared to believe that God can do amazing things through you?”