Denise Kilby BCACLC Blended Families, Boundaries, Christian Coaching, Couples, Crisis, Forgiveness, Healing, Hope, Life Desicions, Marriage, Mental Health, Mental Health Life Coaching, Process, Relationships, Self Care

Misconceptions vs. Reality: Navigating Divorce as a Christian

Misconceptions about Christian Divorce Recovery

Many people hold specific beliefs about how Christians, especially Christian women, handle the aftermath of a divorce. A common misconception is that Christian women should solely rely on prayer, fellowship, and worship to swiftly and smoothly get over their ex-husbands. This view suggests that their faith alone is a quick fix, providing immediate and complete healing. However, this perception oversimplifies the complex emotional and psychological journey that divorce entails.

The Reality of Christian Divorce Recovery

In reality, the process of getting over a divorce for a Christian, including Christian women, is multifaceted and deeply personal. While faith plays a significant role, it is not a standalone solution. Here’s a closer look at what this journey often entails:

  1. Emotional Healing and Grieving:
    • Pain and Loss: Divorce brings a profound sense of loss, similar to mourning a death. The end of a marriage signifies the loss of a partner, shared dreams, and a way of life.
    • Emotional Roller Coaster: Christian women, like anyone else, experience a range of emotions including sadness, anger, betrayal, and confusion. The process of grieving these emotions can be long and non-linear.
  2. Therapy and Counseling:
    • Professional Help: Many Christians seek the help of a professional therapist or counselor. Christian counseling can provide a safe space to explore emotions, develop coping strategies, and work through issues related to the divorce.
    • Integrative Approaches: Counseling that integrates faith can be particularly helpful, combining psychological techniques with spiritual support.
  3. Community Support:
    • Beyond Fellowship: While church fellowship provides valuable support, the community aspect extends to family, friends, and support groups. Practical help and emotional support from these networks are crucial.
    • Support Groups: Many churches offer divorce recovery groups where individuals can share experiences and find support from others who understand their journey.
  4. Personal Growth and Self-Care:
    • Rediscovering Identity: Divorce often prompts a period of self-reflection and rediscovery. Christian women may explore new hobbies, careers, or educational opportunities to rebuild their lives.
    • Self-Care Practices: Engaging in activities that promote mental and physical health, such as exercise, meditation, and healthy eating, are essential parts of the healing process.
  5. Faith as a Foundation, Not a Fix:
    • Sustained Spiritual Practices: Prayer, worship, and fellowship are integral parts of healing, providing comfort, strength, and a sense of community. However, they work best when combined with other forms of support.
    • Spiritual Growth: Divorce can be a time of deepening one’s faith. Many find solace in scripture, religious texts, and the teachings of their faith, which offer perspectives on suffering, resilience, and hope.

Debunking the Myths

It’s important to debunk the myth that Christian women get over an ex-husband solely through prayer, fellowship, and worship. While these elements are vital components of their recovery process, they are not the entire story. Recovery from divorce is a holistic journey involving emotional, psychological, social, and spiritual dimensions.

By acknowledging the complexity of divorce recovery, we can better support Christian women and others going through this challenging experience. Encouraging a balanced approach that includes faith, professional help, community support, and self-care can lead to more effective and comprehensive healing.

©️ 2024 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Addiction, Anxiety, Blended Families, Boundaries, Christian Coaching, Couples, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, Depression, Domestic Violence, Forgiveness, HARDSHIPS, Healing, Hope, Life Desicions, Marriage, Mental Health, Mental Health Life Coaching, Process, Relationships, Self Care

Navigating Life’s Transitions

Embracing Change with Grace

Change is the only constant in life. From the shifting seasons to the passing of time, transitions are woven into the very fabric of our existence. Yet, despite their inevitability, transitions often leave us feeling unsettled, uncertain, and sometimes even fearful. Whether it’s a change in career, a move to a new city, the end of a relationship, or simply the natural progression of life, transitions can challenge us in profound ways. However, they also offer us the opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and transformation.

Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com

Embracing change with grace requires a shift in perspective—a willingness to see transitions not as obstacles to be avoided, but as invitations to evolve and adapt. Here are some strategies to help you navigate life’s transitions with resilience and courage:

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Transitions can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, from excitement and anticipation to anxiety and sadness. It’s essential to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise without judgment. Acknowledge the discomfort, but also recognize that it’s a natural part of the process.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself during times of transition. Offer yourself the same kindness and understanding that you would extend to a friend facing a similar situation. Remember that it’s okay to take things one step at a time and to prioritize self-care.
  3. Find Support: Lean on friends, family, or a support network during times of transition. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Sharing your experiences with others can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide valuable perspective.
  4. Focus on What You Can Control: While some aspects of a transition may be beyond your control, there are often elements that you can influence. Identify the actions you can take to navigate the transition more smoothly and focus your energy there. By taking proactive steps, you’ll feel empowered and better equipped to handle whatever challenges come your way.
  5. Cultivate Resilience: Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity stronger than before. Cultivate resilience by cultivating a growth mindset and embracing the lessons that transitions offer. View setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, and trust in your ability to overcome obstacles.
  6. Stay Open to Possibilities: Transitions can be fertile ground for new opportunities and experiences. Stay open to the possibilities that arise, even if they deviate from your original plan. Embrace uncertainty as a catalyst for growth and exploration, and trust that the path will unfold as it should.
  7. Celebrate Progress: Celebrate even the smallest victories along the way. Recognize your resilience, courage, and growth as you navigate the transition. By acknowledging your progress, you’ll build momentum and confidence to continue moving forward.
  8. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and present during times of transition. Take time to pause, breathe, and check in with yourself regularly. Cultivate awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without attaching judgment or resistance.
  9. Stay Flexible: Transitions rarely unfold according to plan, and that’s okay. Stay flexible and adaptable, willing to adjust your course as needed. Trust that detours and setbacks are simply part of the journey and that they often lead to unexpected blessings.
  10. Embrace the Journey: Ultimately, life’s transitions are an integral part of the human experience. Embrace the journey in all its messiness and complexity. Find joy in the process of growth and transformation, knowing that each transition brings you one step closer to becoming the person God created you to be.

In conclusion, navigating life’s transitions with grace requires patience, resilience, and a willingness to embrace change. By acknowledging your feelings, finding support, focusing on what you can control, and staying open to possibilities, you can navigate transitions with courage and resilience. Embrace the journey, trust in your resilience, and know that you have the strength to navigate whatever transitions come your way. Trust the change process and be ready to live to your Full God Given Potential.

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19

©️ 2024 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Christian Coaching, Couples, Marriage, Relationships, Spirituality

Keeping the Flame Alive: A Guide for Christian Couples to Cultivate Passion and Love in Marriage

Introduction:
Marriage is more than a mere contract; it is a sacred, divine bond infused with love, joy, and fulfillment. Yet, as time elapses, the initial fervor tends to wane, often eclipsed by the demands of everyday life. However, hold onto hope, for when God becomes the epicenter of your union, you have the power to rekindle the flames of passion and nourish a love that deepens with each passing moment.

1. Prioritize Prayer Together
One of the most powerful ways to strengthen your bond as a couple and invite God into your marriage is through prayer. Set aside time each day to pray together, lifting up your relationship, your needs, and your desires to the Lord. Prayer not only deepens your spiritual connection but also fosters intimacy between you and your spouse.

2. Intentional Date Nights
Embrace regular date nights as a crucial component of your marriage, transcending the conventional dinner and movie routine. Utilize this time to foster a profound connection, engaging in discussions about your aspirations, objectives, and spiritual development. Consider participating in a marriage retreat or Christian conference as a couple to acquire fresh insights and perspectives on your relationship.

3. Study God’s Word Together
Just as nourishing your physical body is important, feeding your spirits with God’s Word is crucial for the health of your marriage. Set aside time to study the Bible together, exploring passages that speak to marriage, love, and intimacy. Reflect on how you can apply these teachings to your own relationship and support each other in your spiritual journey.

4. Serve Others as a Team
There’s something incredibly bonding about serving others together as a couple. Look for opportunities to volunteer in your church, community, or missions field. Serving side by side not only strengthens your connection to each other but also deepens your connection to God as you live out His call to love and serve others.

5. Nurture the Flame of Romance
Refuse to allow the hustle and bustle of daily life to smother the passionate flame of love in your marriage. Take purposeful actions to keep the romance burning brightly, whether it entails tender displays of affection, unexpected and thrilling dates, or the exchange of heartfelt love letters. Keep in mind that marriage is intricately designed to mirror the boundless love of the Divine for us, and by fostering romance in your relationship, you are paying homage to Him.

6. Practice Forgiveness and Grace
No marriage is perfect, and there will inevitably be times when you hurt or disappoint each other. Practice forgiveness and extend grace to your spouse, just as God has forgiven and shown grace to you. Let go of resentment and bitterness, and choose instead to offer love and reconciliation.

Conclusion:
Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs, but with God at the center, it can be a source of enduring love, passion, and joy. By prioritizing prayer, studying God’s Word, serving others, and nurturing romance, you can keep the flame of love alive in your marriage and grow closer to each other and to God with each passing day. Remember, with God, all things are possible, and He delights in blessing and strengthening your marriage.

So, fellow couples, let’s commit to keeping our love alive and centered on God, for He is the ultimate source of love and the foundation of our marriage.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Boundaries, Christian Coaching, Couples, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, Depression, Forgiveness, Healing, Healing, Hope, Life Desicions, Marriage, Mental Health Life Coaching, Promises, Relationships, Self Care, Trauma

Walking Away with a Broken Heart

Finding Healing Amidst Emotional Abandonment, Lies, and Deceit

Walking away from a relationship that has caused emotional abandonment, lies, and deceit is one of the hardest decisions to make. Leaving the known for the unknown and having to start anew can be one of the hardest decision anyone could ever make to preserve their mental, emotional, spiritual, physical wellbeing.

The heartache of leaving someone you love deeply can feel overwhelming, but sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to let go of the person who has long ago let go of you. This post explores why walking away is essential for healing and preserving your mental health.

Understanding Emotional Abandonment

Emotional abandonment is a profound betrayal. It’s when the person who should be your source of support and affection leaves you feeling isolated and unloved. It’s when the person that’s supposed to care and make you feel secure, does the whole opposite, is when if you’re not careful you become a shell of yourself.

Recognizing this form of neglect is the first step toward healing. Emotional abandonment erodes your self-worth and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression. Acknowledge that you deserve more than being left to navigate your emotions alone. You are allowed to express your emotions and feelings without being afraid to lose the person you love.

Facing the Lies and Deceit

Lies and deceit can devastate trust and shake your sense of reality. Once lies or deceit take place on any relationship that trust must be hard earned back, the deceiving person must display and behave in ways that are consistent with what they express. This could take years…

However, when the foundation of your relationship is built on falsehoods, it’s crucial to confront this painful truth. Accepting that you’ve been deceived is tough, but it’s a necessary step in regaining control of your life and emotional well-being.

Choosing to Walk Away

Walking away from someone you love, despite the emotional pain, takes immense strength. It’s a declaration that you value your mental health and self-respect above the comfort of an unhealthy relationship. Understand that leaving is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-love and courage.

You should not be punished for walking away. You should not be abused for walking away. You should not be gaslighted for walking away. You should never feel guilty for walking away to do what is best for you.

Embracing the Pain of Letting Go

Letting go of a relationship, especially one filled with lies and emotional neglect, is inherently painful. Is painful for many reasons, 1) You are letting go of the familial to walk into the unknown 2) You are still loving this person 3) You never meant for things to be this way 4) You wish there was something that could be done, 5) This person has no emotional connection with you and perhaps has not have any in a very long time.

Realizing these things can be devastating to soul. Allow yourself to grieve. Cry, journal, or speak with someone you trust about your feelings. Suppressing your emotions can prolong the healing process. Embrace the pain as a part of your journey to recovery, knowing that each day brings you closer to healing.

Rebuilding Your Self-Worth

Emotional abandonment and deceit can severely damage your self-esteem. Rebuilding your self-worth is a critical part of the healing process. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift you. But also allow yourself to be alone when needed and learn how to value being alone without feeling lonely.

Engage in activities that bring you joy and remind you of your strengths. Remember, your worth is not determined by someone else’s inability to appreciate you and love you.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

As you begin to heal, establishing boundaries becomes essential, this may be difficult because you love this person, but please remember this person has emotionally disengaged from you a long time ago.

Boundaries protect your mental health and prevent you from falling back into toxic patterns. Learn to say no without guilt and prioritize your needs. Your emotions matter. Setting clear, healthy boundaries is a vital step in preserving your well-being and fostering healthier relationships in the future.

Seeking Professional Support

Navigating the aftermath of emotional abandonment, lies, and deceit can be overwhelming. Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can provide valuable support. Therapy offers a safe space to explore your emotions, understand your experiences, and develop strategies for healing and moving forward.

Embracing New Beginnings

Walking away from a painful relationship paves the way for new beginnings. It’s an opportunity to rediscover yourself, redefine your values, and envision the future you deserve. This period of introspection and growth is crucial. Do not jump into another relationship as means to heal, you will only numb the pain but not heal it, that pain will later on resurface to hurt someone else. As you heal, you’ll find strength in your resilience and hope in the possibilities that lie ahead. Feel your feelings, rediscover who you are at this new age.

Conclusion

Walking away from a relationship marred by emotional abandonment, lies, and deceit is a challenging but necessary step towards healing and preserving your mental health. By acknowledging your pain, seeking support, and setting boundaries, you empower yourself to heal and thrive. Remember, you deserve honesty, respect, and love. Walking away is not the end; it’s the beginning of a new chapter filled with promise and potential.

Choosing to walk away with a broken heart is an act of courage. Prioritize your mental health, embrace the pain, and take the first step towards a healthier, happier future.

©️ Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Boundaries, Christian Coaching, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, Depression, Forgiveness, Healing, Hope, Life Desicions, Marriage, Mental Health Life Coaching, PTSD, Relationships, Self Care, Self Care, Spirituality

Healing Narcissistic Abuse

Wednesday Wedge: Bridging The Gap to Heal The Wounds Left from Narcissistic Abuse

More often than not you don’t know that you’re in an abusive relationship until it’s a little too late. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is being in a emotional abusive relationship.

It’s important to ground yourself after a traumatic experience like an abusive relationship, because you may still be living the experience.
“Your timekeeper in your brain is not functioning well, it believes that then is now,” Doctor Perpetua Neo said, Couples Coach, Writer and Psychiatrist.
So this means you can actually relive everything — the smells, the tastes and everything else can still feel very real.

Like with PTSD, and this is what you have to work through, otherwise it might feel like it’s going to take over your whole life.
“Reclaim yourself, that’s super important,” she said.

Figure out why you were attracted to this person in the first place, and break free.

©️2022 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Addiction, Blended Families, Boundaries, Couples, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, Depression, Domestic Violence, Forgiveness, HARDSHIPS, Healing, Hope, Life Desicions, Marriage, Mental Health Awareness, Mental Health Life Coaching, Positivity, Process, Relationships, Revelations, Self Care, Spirituality, Trauma, Wednesday Wedge

Biology of Love Desire & Attraction

Today’s Wednesday Wedge is on Relationships, Discernment and Communication: to bridge the gap let us wedge across the BIOLOGY OF LOVE DESIRE & ATTRACTION.

What happens in the brain when you close proximity with someone you’re physically attracted to?

Something begins to happen in your brain as you meet someone who you are attracted to. There are many different types of attractions… but when you’re physically attracted to a person and they’re about to ask you out, what takes place in your brain is something even more interesting.
– See them across the room adrenaline begins to run, blood begins to pump faster, you get weak in the knees
–The dopamine and norepinephrine flood in the brain like you never imagined, and you start to have a feeling of euphoria (and you idolize, is like eating pounds of chocolate cake without gaining weight, is like cocaine-the reaction is the same—not advocating)
– The serotonin gives you a #love cocktail (is like what happens with OCD) the obsession begins
– You begin to obsess, so what happens is LOVE, love that last about 12 to 24 months #yup

After that only the brave survive. A lot of teens, emerging adults and young adults don’t make it past the 24 months without their first big fight.

Intense Passion Fades

That intense passion fades just like a high of cocaine or the drunkness of a few cocktails.

There’s hope:
Discernment and Communication can foster healthy and long lasting relationships. That’s why is important not to jump into the arms of anyone who accept us or offers us an invitation.

• Start the relationship with small steps
• Studies have proven that relationships are easier when people have similarities (despite oposite being an attraction).
• Research shows that people/couples who have socioeconomic status, intelligence, religious and values do better together and end married.
• Our childhood experience play a big role into what we bring to the relationships—get to know each other deeply. Ask, share, ask, share.
—
Create boundaries
Work on being friends
Look at each other and pay attention to each other’s needs.
The foundation of any relationships is found on #friendship and #communication.
Give #fondness and #admiration
When concern about something turn toward each other, not away.

Partner with God. As we partner with God and we demonstrate our willingness to work in our relationships if problems were to arise He will help us work through those things.

Keep in mind that these are things that are culturally popular, but this is your relationship. You don’t have to be pop, you have to be committed to one another.

Work at this relationship with an eternity mindset. Aim as high as possible.

Resist the voices that call you and pull into doing what the world is worrying about looking in a partner and doing. Do what you must to obtain what you’re looking for.

Holiness, peace, honesty, calmness, assurance, respect, honor, healthy boundaries and a long lasting relationship.

©️Copyright 2021 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Association. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Anxiety, Blended Families, Boundaries, Christian Coaching, Couples, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, Depression, Forgiveness, Healing, Hope, Marriage, Mental Health, Mental Health Awareness, Mental Health Life Coaching, Relationships, Self Care, Self Care, Spirituality, Trauma

Your Thoughts Can Lie to You!

What we believe is usually connected with an idea of the truth but is not always the truth.

Our thoughts or beliefs are not always the reality simply because they’re connected to our ideas, as valid as they may be.

However, I’d like to make something clear from the start of this. This does not grant anyone permission to gaslight you or play mind games with you.

Your ideas are important even if your beliefs are simply your beliefs.

Moreover, they don’t become more valuable or important than anyone else’s because they’re our ideas.

Unless we have proven facts they remain simply our ideas not the reality of anything.

Most of the time we get hurt or hurt others because we remain hung up on an idea that keeps us far away from the reality of “how how things ought to be” or “Prince Charming should look” or “people should treat us” making us believe that things are a certain way when in reality they’re not.

Questioning beliefs logically through objectivity and observing from the outside in as a third party/person helps us to gage not only if our beliefs are true, but what are the logical consequences of our ideas in the world (positive and negative). Which helps us have COMPASSION.

We are usually very fast to question another persons beliefs (be honest-I’m not speaking about religion).

As soon as we question another person’s beliefs/ideas what they believe to be truth their stand point on a topic, we should evaluate our own. If we discover we are wrong, this fosters ACCEPTANCE.

This will help us understand ourself and make room for positive and negative criticism without fear of getting hurt.

If we discover we are wrong and modify our beliefs and admit our error, this fosters STRENGTH.

Then we’ll be ready to move on and take on the took box and start building place else, where our beliefs won’t get on the way.

Being honest with yourself and questioning your beliefs will not make you smaller, it will make you greater and give you more power, room for research and a learning opportunity.

Remember, your beliefs are simply an idea of the truth. Not necessarily the truth. Allow room for growth.

1 Corinthians 14:33 -“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

©️Copyright Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Association. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Anxiety, Bible Stories, Blended Families, Boundaries, Christian Coaching, Couples, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, HARDSHIPS, Healing, Hope, Life Desicions, Mental Health, Mental Health Awareness, Mental Health Life Coaching, Pandemic, Process, Relationships, Self Care, Self Care, Spirituality, Suicide

Regulating Our Nervous System

Listen to their stories-live out their success-learn from their struggles is what I say to myself when I talk to my clients or anyone else who shares something hard to swallow.

I believe each one of us have what it takes within us to live to Gods Full Given Potential.

Unfortunately, though, there are millions of people suffering with way too much anxiety that is wrecking their nervios system, and not a nervous system spiking their anxiety level.

They can spend time predicting the worst, avoiding conflict, being wracked by nervousness, the chaos of this world brings chronic muscle tension, family distortion and conflict within self, among friends, co workers and other physical symptoms.

It’s as though their “idle” is set too high and they are often expecting so much from themselves due to what society or the system is telling them life should be like without society saying a word simply based on what they see, or believe they hear from the social media or others suggest or read around.

Frequently plagued by self-doubt, fear, and panic.

One of the best ways to regulate our nervous system is by taking slow, deep breaths—you’ll boost oxygen to your brain and start to regain control over how you feel.

One way to practice deep breathing is by learning how to breathe from your diaphragm—I practice this method and recommend it to all my client who come to me for Mental Health Coaching and express that they have anxiety. The diaphragm is the area of the body that tends to get “clenched” tense and panic when we’re anxious.

To practice breathing from your diaphragm, try this:

1. Lie on your back and place a small book on your belly. (Another option is to sit on a quiet place and place your hand on your belly.)

2. As you slowly inhale through your nose, make the book go up. (Make your hand go up) Hold your breath at the top of your inhalation for 2 seconds.

3. When you exhale, make the book ( ✋🏽) go down and then hold your breath for 2 seconds before inhaling again.

4. Repeat 10 times and notice how relaxed you feel.

Note: you can use your smart phone to practice this method of breathing, set regular schedules on your phone or even work at it with a friend. You can also integrate prayer meditation while you’re doing this and add extra time and a nice tune to go with it. Keep in mind that the goal and focus should be centered in your breathing. I have a great prayer meditation guide for you if you’re interested (based on the Christian faith).

If you noticed that after regularly practicing healthy breathing habits you’re still all over the place or experiencing onset outbursts episodes of anxiety or panic attacks do the following.

Challenge your thinking:

Often times in panicked situations our thoughts are all over the place and usually very much against us, or what we truly want. If you notice that after every good thought comes a HUGE negative stinking thought or ANT’s that for some reason seem more realistic than the Holy Spirit heavenly sent previously heart planted one, and therefore MUST be challenged and extinguished immediately! Do so!

The ANT’s are Automatic Negative Thinking (as Doctor Amen calls them).

Write down ALL the negative thoughts that come to mind as soon as they do no matter in which order they come out, and when you’re done, go over each and everyone of them and challenge those thoughts from a more positive, and realistic perspective.

Visit my Monday’s Instagram post for more tips.

Contact me if you’d like more information you’re not alone here!

Let’s breathe!

The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life. Job 33:4

… where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

©️Copyrights Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Association. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Boundaries, Christian Coaching, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, Forgiveness, Healing, Hope, Life Desicions, Mental Health, Mental Health Awareness, Mental Health Life Coaching, Process, Promises, Relationships, Self Care, Spirituality

Let that Love be Enough.

Our self-love should be enough that makes others want to love us .

No One For Sure will love you the same way and with the same strength that you could.

No one will ever appreciate you like you could.

No one will ever validate you like you could and deserve to. You have the ability to love yourself beyond and immeasurably more than how, or anyone else would ever match up.

You are a precious gift and the simple reason that you get upset, angry and disappointed at others is because part of your subconscious knows that you have the strengths to love yourself beyond the point and with more passion than they can.

Trusting others with the responsibility to love us, care for us, and see us like God sees us and we are supposed to see ourselves is setting our expectations on a lower level than we deserve.

When we love ourselves and treat ourselves like God would we begin see ourselves from Christ’s lenses and not the world’s.

The world will leave us down, but the heavens that came to connect with us through Jesus Christ will always lift us up.

As creatures by nature and children of the most high we must always learn to love from the inside out before we love others and pretend or expect them to love our innermost.

Giving in to others choices and expectations means surrendering to others wills for our lives.

May this week be a reflective one for you whenever you decide that it should start. Ask for wisdom and get ready to learn, patience, endurance, understanding and how to love and be kind to yourself.

With my best love!

©️Copyright 2021 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC. All rights reserved.

Denise Kilby BCACLC Bible Stories, Boundaries, Crisis, Daily Encouragement, Forgiveness, Healing, Life Desicions, Mental Health Life Coaching, Process, Relationships, Spirituality

Conviction

“Nothing you can do or say nor not do or not say could make God love you any more nor any less”

Life might seem complicated with a lot of rules, guidelines and regulation.

The Christian Life in fact may seem even harder to follow as a lot of organizations expect so much from us, and humans have so many man made rules and norms by which they expect others to live by.

This makes many of us afraid to let people down, disappointed or with a sense of dissatisfaction—making it easier to dissociate and isolate from the church community.

What leaves many of us dissatisfied and disappointed at times is seeing that many of these people set up a life of expectations that they only follow when they are at church (in the building) and follow the rules only when they’re around certain people who know the norms and regulations.

This also causes others who want to get to know Jesus (or are curious) to steer far away from Him due to a lack of consistency and bad testimony to the Christian faith.

How can we change this?:

Do we stop setting norms, regulations, and expectations and break all the rules?

Do we stop holding people accountable for their actions and let them come to church dresses however they want and do whoever habit they please?

Do we stop talking, preaching and sharing the gospel about morals and biblical principles?

The answer is simple, we study, and lear how to live like Jesus did so we can model His character everywhere we go.

We become real Christ ambassador.

Regulations are in place to maintain order.

Guidelines are in place to give direction and recommendations.

Norms are meant to describe what is expected of human behavior.

Rules are meant to be enforced.

Accountability is what holds individuals liable (responsable) for their own behaviors.

Without one we cannot achieve the other.

So, behave in public how you would behave in private and behave in private as if Jesus is watching because at the end of the day He is, and you will be held accountable.

As a parent His job is to love you, care for you, provide for you, but also discipline you, and correct you.

Wouldn’t you do the same to your children?

Scriptures:

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid” (Proverbs 12:1).