Holding someone accountable should never pain the person trying to help.

This should keep things simple for today. Holding someone accountable for their own actions should never be hard on the person trying to help them.

Keep it simple.
What are you doing to change your current situation?
How are you taking care of your mental health?
How are you handling your addiction?
Have you done anything to stop, tell me about it?
How’s that working out for you?

How can you tell when individual’s aren’t working positively and persistently toward their own mental health, building financial capacity, recovering from drugs, an alcohol addiction, working on their marital relationships, or any other interpersonal, spiritual and relational issues?

1. They become hostile

2. They walk away

3. They always give you the same excuses, or none at all

3. They are never ready or available to talk

4. They become evasive [causing a strand on the relationship].

5. They never look forward to making a plan

6. They can’t seem to be able to reach out for help [if they’re not yet receiving it

7. They will always find an escape goat or find themselves to be the victims of their current circumstances/their past—never the survivors and or deny accountability.

Bonus❗️🆘 A lot of these people end up alone, and unable to sustain healthy and meaningful relationships, with children, spouses, employees, or employers, become deceivers and lack a relationship with God!

Note 📝 these traits only describe behaviors not characters.

To help someone, talk about behavior, not characters.
To help someone, seek to reflect them and show them Jesus’ character when you talk to them.
Don’t let these individual’s behavior give you a false identity.

Trying to help someone who refuses to receive help themselves by displaying the above mention behaviors can be consuming and cause the person to end up suffering from a greater mental health condition.

Watch for signs and refer this person a professional immediate.
Set healthy boundaries. Explain that love does not and should not hurt.

If you find yourself in a relationship with someone like this or are a person that holds such a behavior seek help now. Set healthy boundaries and become accountable, before your end up resenting yourself or others.

©️2021 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC. All rights reserved.

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