Holding someone accountable should never pain the person trying to help.

This should keep things simple for today. Holding someone accountable for their own actions should never be hard on the person trying to help them.

Keep it simple.
What are you doing to change your current situation?
How are you taking care of your mental health?
How are you handling your addiction?
Have you done anything to stop, tell me about it?
How’s that working out for you?

How can you tell when individual’s aren’t working positively and persistently toward their own mental health, building financial capacity, recovering from drugs, an alcohol addiction, working on their marital relationships, or any other interpersonal, spiritual and relational issues?

1. They become hostile

2. They walk away

3. They always give you the same excuses, or none at all

3. They are never ready or available to talk

4. They become evasive [causing a strand on the relationship].

5. They never look forward to making a plan

6. They can’t seem to be able to reach out for help [if they’re not yet receiving it

7. They will always find an escape goat or find themselves to be the victims of their current circumstances/their past—never the survivors and or deny accountability.

Bonus❗️🆘 A lot of these people end up alone, and unable to sustain healthy and meaningful relationships, with children, spouses, employees, or employers, become deceivers and lack a relationship with God!

Note 📝 these traits only describe behaviors not characters.

To help someone, talk about behavior, not characters.
To help someone, seek to reflect them and show them Jesus’ character when you talk to them.
Don’t let these individual’s behavior give you a false identity.

Trying to help someone who refuses to receive help themselves by displaying the above mention behaviors can be consuming and cause the person to end up suffering from a greater mental health condition.

Watch for signs and refer this person a professional immediate.
Set healthy boundaries. Explain that love does not and should not hurt.

If you find yourself in a relationship with someone like this or are a person that holds such a behavior seek help now. Set healthy boundaries and become accountable, before your end up resenting yourself or others.

©️2021 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC. All rights reserved.

Published by Denise Kilby BCACLC

Along the path of my life I have focused on growing as an individual, studying the word of God, and expanding my view of life to help others. After studying and obtaining a degree in Psychology Christian Counseling, Crisis Counseling and Life Coaching at Liberty University I obtained a diploma in Life Coaching out of the missteps of life. I became certified as an Advanced Mental Health & Christian Life Coach through the American Association of Christian Life Counselors (AACC). Obtaining my international credentialing through the National and International Board of Christian Life Coaches (IBCLC) & the International Board of Christian Care (IBCC). As a fibromyalgia fighter, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, and sexual molestation over-comer I consider myself a victorious woman, who has been born for a time as this. My mission is to inspire with my testimony, empower with the word of God and encourage by instilling positive change, to equip others with life lasting tools. My vision is to help others live to their full God given potential. My objective it to share my life vision with those who are blind-folded by pain or circumstance and have lost hope, & become stuck in a rut but long for a change. I am a mother of three blessings I get to call children; two boys and a girl, wife of a man from whom I've learn to build character everyday of our journey together. I live in the blessing of knowing that I am a daughter of God Almighty. My advise to you, with the best love I have, “Don't stop learning, becoming, and believing in yourself-there’s a world that needs your help” Denise Kilby

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