Every action we take begins with a thought. Following I leave with a few points to help you validate them, understand them, and take action base on the results you want to see.
1. More validating less victimizing: People will see you the way you portrait yourself, some may be closer to the way you truly see within and others may be way far off, but remember their opinion is based on your picture.
2. Observe your self talk: Are you very self critical, judgmental, or place unrealistic expectations on yourself?
3. Recognize and label invalidation: “I should” or “I need to just” are clues that something invalidating is about to follow.
4. Replace: The invalidating thought or statement with a question. Be curious. Just because you may not understand why something is happening doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. Try to make sense of it without falling into overthinking. You know yourself, your history, and your beliefs. There is always a reason we experience the world in the way that we do.
5. Be Gentle: You are doing the best you can. Change, progress, and forward movement are not possible in a judgmental, abusive mind.
6. Pass it on: Notice invalidation in your friends and family, encourage them to be mindful of their invalidating comments. Then you can fight back together, and support each other.
7. Encourage: encourage yourself and others with your story and testimony. Own the space in which you are right now and make the changes you want to see.
Along the path of my life I have focused on growing as an individual, studying the word of God, and expanding my view of life to help others.
After studying and obtaining a degree in Psychology Christian Counseling, Crisis Counseling and Life Coaching at Liberty University I obtained a diploma in Life Coaching out of the missteps of life. I became certified as an Advanced Mental Health & Christian Life Coach through the American Association of Christian Life Counselors (AACC). Obtaining my international credentialing through the National and International Board of Christian Life Coaches (IBCLC) & the International Board of Christian Care (IBCC).
As a fibromyalgia fighter, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, and sexual molestation over-comer I consider myself a victorious woman, who has been born for a time as this.
My mission is to inspire with my testimony, empower with the word of God and encourage by instilling positive change, to equip others with life lasting tools.
My vision is to help others live to their full God given potential. My objective it to share my life vision with those who are blind-folded by pain or circumstance and have lost hope, & become stuck in a rut but long for a change.
I am a mother of three blessings I get to call children; two boys and a girl, wife of a man from whom I've learn to build character everyday of our journey together. I live in the blessing of knowing that I am a daughter of God Almighty.
My advise to you, with the best love I have,
“Don't stop learning, becoming, and believing in yourself-there’s a world that needs your help” Denise Kilby
View all posts by Denise Kilby BCACLC
Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. 