How are you feeling today?

“Pain and suffering can make us the biggest victim or the greatest victor” -DK.

antonika-chanel-467887Not many people are able to make a relation between pain, suffering, happiness and enjoyment. Trauma can definitely help you be extremely resilient. I don’t expect everyone to know or understand this at first hand but I will begin to explain.

Modifying your thoughts daily, perhaps every minute, will allow you to focus on what you want without feeling incomplete for what you don’t have. This is not easy stuff, and it takes determination and commitment, self-commitment.

Which is why most people don’t do it, because it can be easier to commit to others before we commit to our own selves. We can become more faithful to those who hurt us than to ourselves, (i.e. we set up a plan to go to the gym, eat healthier, and or read more but we are “ok” when we don’t do it). There’s always a next time when it comes to us, even if we feel bad inside or feel like we have failed, we suppress and hide the feelings and become used to it to a point that eventually we no longer care anymore. We put our dreams to sleep and live in a silence unhappiness with ourselves yet trying to please everyone else, and never allowing ourselves ti fail other because we care too much to look bad in front of others living a phony life.

Now, when we give someone else our word, for example; I’ll be there at a certain time, or make a commitment with a neighbor to  pick up their little one from the bus stop, we make sure to be there on time, and if by any chance we aren’t able to make it we apologize and also verbally express to our love ones (kids, or husband) how we feel about it. Yet, again when it comes to ourselves we keep our feeling run down by emotions.

A lot of times we are second in our list (if there’s only two people on it) and if there’s 10 we are that number 10 for sure. But we don’t give ourselves a 10 when we deserve it if number was the most valuable number. Are you following me?.

By distracting yourself from the pain and or situation that requires URGENT attention (your feelings) you are prolonging pain, the idea of feeling something uncomfortable  is so scary that we run away from it (suppress it-suffocating ourselves), worried that the emotions will overwhelm us and or devastate us. Know that emotions are temporary, you will only feel a certain way for a specific amount of time. You were created to feel, YOU ARE HUMAN (the time you allow it), no one can make you feel more or less than what you really want.

This is why is important to understand how to manage your emotions and separate your feelings from them. Pain can be a factor that alter our emotions, constant suffering can damage our feelings, but it doesn’t have to be in control of our happiness to the point that is keeping us on running from who we are.  Don’t allow pain and suffering to determine whether you will enjoy your life or not.

Be in control of who you are, connect with your inner self and admit, that you are able to get up stronger, yes, you can get up stronger. The place where you may be now is not your home (your feelings), that place is temporary (your emotions), be determined and reach out!

Pain and mistreatment can be a factor of depression, some people allow the feeling of sadness to create a “temporary” feeling of grief in their heart (which is healthy, necessary, and okay to a certain extend), or a mourning, an eternal  heavy burden in their lives. Are you ready to stop being a victim of the situation and become a victor and come up stronger from the circumstances?  #balance

“Situations, circumstances, and emotions are all temporary, but feelings are long-lasting. Don’t let “the” today determine how you will feel tomorrow.” 

– Denise Kilby

Genuinely with all my best love!

Your Coach,

Denise Kilby

©️ 2017 Denise Kilby New Hope Christian Life Coaching. All rights reserved.

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