Remain Encouraged

One Prayer at a Time, One Day at a Time, One Stitch at a Time.

Today, I want to share something deeply personal with you. After much contemplation and prayer, I have decided to be transparent about a significant change in my life. Recently, my marriage came to an end, and I have gotten a divorce.

As your mental health and Christian life coach, as well as a lay counselor, I believe it’s important to be open about this because, as often happens when a relationship ends, people move on, and after seeing some changes others get caught in the rumor mill. I want to address this directly to prevent misunderstandings and remain true to my commitment to honesty.

I will always love my ex-husband, and that love is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I understand that this love may evolve and take on a different form with time. Right now, I am navigating through my process, allowing myself to feel the heartache, grieve, and embrace the healing process that the Holy Spirit provides. This journey is not easy, but it is a necessary process that I must go through.

I want you to know that this experience only further equips me to support and guide others through their own challenges. I still believe in the sanctity of marriage and that it can work with commitment and faith. My belief in the power of a strong, loving partnership remains unwavering.

When a person experiences a loss, traumatic situation, or emotional pain, the reality is that our bodies bear the marks of our life’s experiences. Being open and letting go is a part of healing.

Bessel van der Kolk’s book, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma,” wonderfully explains how our bodies store the emotional and psychological impacts of trauma.

When we endure emotional turmoil, it manifests within us, causing our insides to feel twisted and distorted in a literal sense. Our minds become clouded, our focus wanes, and our bodies ache and suffer if uncared for.

In the depths of our pain, we may cry out for the Lord to take our pain away, yet He refrains with heavenly strength, aiming to teach us through our suffering. When feeling like we’re walking through the valley of the shadow of death, one thing we must remind our souls daily is that God doesn’t cause or create pain, hurt, or abandonment. Sin does.

If He allows it, it is ALWAYS with a greater purpose, a purpose that we may not see now, that we cannot see in the middle of pain, and IT IS OKAY if we don’t understand it while passing through this valley, my friend. Jesus has been overwhelmed with sorrow Himself. He knows what betrayal feels like, what being wrongfully judged does to a soul, and what it feels like to face something that seems insurmountable.

He knows what it is like to surrender His life to death; which is what at times we feel like we’re doing when we surrender to Him. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). Jesus knows what it is like to surrender. But since we don’t know what Jesus knows (because He is God) we are reluctant to surrender control when we feel that letting go will cause a permanent death to a part of our lives. This is precisely when we must remain close to Him and seek to glean from what He knows — take hold of His promises in His word, about our today and our future. His plans are better Jer.29:11.

At times, God allows pain to reveal His saving grace to us. Genuine blessings can be masked in disguise. When our pain becomes greater and our faith becomes faint, sometimes we need to surrender pride, cancel all evil and shameful thoughts, and pick up the phone to contact a friend to stand in their faith for a couple of hours, a couple of days, or a couple of months — to share your experience with them, knowing that you will not be judged. Jesus said, “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). God didn’t promise a pain-free life; His promise is that this too shall pass and that we will overcome.

In the middle of the pain, we shall never feel guilty for taking a sabbatical, for isolating from people to connect with God, setting boundaries, and creating space to connect with the Holy Spirit. In our times of pain and suffering, one should never feel ashamed of speaking about their pain as if doing so creates a burden in someone else’s life.

In closing, in this life, we will be disappointed, we are bound to be hurt, we will face trials, and losses, grieve, lack faith, and have dreams that will never come to pass; but God is still good, faithful, sovereign, almighty, loyal, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, and in HIS supernatural strength — because He is more than we could put into words or ever imagine — He will always sustain us!

Start forgiving yourself so you can learn how to forgive others. Forgiveness will bring peace that surpasses all understanding 🤍✨🤍

©️ 2024 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.