Are You Depending On Others to Feel Independent?

Make the time count and don’t count on others to make your time worth the while…

Are you an independent individual or are you co-depending on others to help you be ‘independent’? That simply means you’re not dependent at all and co-dependency is a serious problem.

In this world you can choose to follow someone else’s trails or avoid the path and create our own, we can lean and have a need to be needed or be confident. -Denise K.


I don’t see anything wrong with receiving help from others (when needed), but I do see a lot of specious with depending on another person to accomplish things or to complete simple tasks that don’t require a third person to get done.

Don’t devalue yourself by waiting for someone else to help you be self-reliance. Can that even be a thing Denise? (you may be asking right now) well yes, indeed.

If you’re constantly counting on other people to help you get things done and blaming them for not accomplishing your goals or for not helping you get a task done, you’re involving a third person where only one (you) should be involved. We don’t need anyone to wake us up in the morning, not even an alarm clock because even if we wake up late (unless where dead) we will simultaneously get woken up on our own. We abate when we wait on others to get things done, and at the same time take from them.

We take their time, and energy. If you’re blaming others for not being able to do something that was entirely UNDER your control, you need to re-examine yourself and reconnect with the inner you.

Either you’re trapped on a narcissistic personality disorder and you haven’t noticed or you’re confined by low self-esteem and or depression which causes you to depend on another human being  to help you accomplish things, feel fulfilled, able, understood, worthy, and then call yourself ‘independent’.

I am sorry if this is bothersome, and you feel like you can’t bear, but if you’re not getting it done on your own and your counting on another person to help you do things that don’t require of much effort and or help you’re just withdrawing from that person and yourself.

You’re not alone and you’re not out of hopes. It is never too late to begin again, tomorrow is another day  and whether the sun shines or the clouds overtake the skies of is God’s will you will be alive.

That will be called purpose and a new opportunity to start all over again.

What are you doing with your free time? Are you employing yourself or waiting for someone to come and tell you how to get things done or what to do next? Are you using your time wisely and acquiring knowledge, or are you waiting on someone else to come so you can try to show them what you can do?

Be wise while you can, humble in today, and hopeful for a tomorrow -Denise K


©️2020 Denise Kilby New Hope Christian Life Coaching. All rights reserved.


Published by Denise Kilby BCACLC

Along the path of my life I have focused on growing as an individual, studying the word of God, and expanding my view of life to help others. After studying and obtaining a degree in Psychology Christian Counseling, Crisis Counseling and Life Coaching at Liberty University I obtained a diploma in Life Coaching out of the missteps of life. I became certified as an Advanced Mental Health & Christian Life Coach through the American Association of Christian Life Counselors (AACC). Obtaining my international credentialing through the National and International Board of Christian Life Coaches (IBCLC) & the International Board of Christian Care (IBCC). As a fibromyalgia fighter, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, and sexual molestation over-comer I consider myself a victorious woman, who has been born for a time as this. My mission is to inspire with my testimony, empower with the word of God and encourage by instilling positive change, to equip others with life lasting tools. My vision is to help others live to their full God given potential. My objective it to share my life vision with those who are blind-folded by pain or circumstance and have lost hope, & become stuck in a rut but long for a change. I am a mother of three blessings I get to call children; two boys and a girl, wife of a man from whom I've learn to build character everyday of our journey together. I live in the blessing of knowing that I am a daughter of God Almighty. My advise to you, with the best love I have, “Don't stop learning, becoming, and believing in yourself-there’s a world that needs your help” Denise Kilby

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