Is that thought making you stagnant? Refocus!

In life we truly know what we are made of when we are going through the purification process…when we are put through the fire. It is when we are being processed that the best of us gets a chance to come out and shine, to stand out and get the shape that it needs at that given time in that particular situation because in life we will never stop being shaped.

The best of me comes out when I’m going though the toughest battles in life (or what I feel is the hardest at the time…), don’t we all have times as such? But what we do in these times is what really holds the weight and adds value to our lives, thus determines the outcome of the situation (I know I’m always saying this). BTW, you should listen to that song “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller.

Did you know that you can still produce while you’re going through a process of “drought”? Hyperbolically speaking…I know overly dramatic, I had to. But isn’t that the way some of us feel sometime. Perhaps when we are working on a project and no one agrees because you seem to be the only one with the vision (sighs) or when you have plans to buy a business and at the closing date one of the business partners from the other party refuses to sign, or the insurance company didn’t finish the paper work on time. It can be big or small but the idea that we create in our head and what we do in the waiting process is what will build our character. Whether the deal comes through, and the project works out or not. There are other routes, to take, other things to do, and other promises for you.

In Genesis 17:21 God gave Abraham a promise that “his wife would give him a son” that seem naturally impossible due to their old age “she laughed”. She was braved… she laughed at GOD, (I know we all have sometimes, we can’t believe how big things can be sometimes;), The same seems to happen to us when when are going through a rocky path…we can’t seem to see the smooth side and at time get physically exhausted, don’t believe that anything good can come out of us at that time. And here comes Mr. or Mrs.’s positive trying to tell us “everything is going to be alright, don’t give up, you can do it, you’re almost there…keep swimming” (keep hiking would sound more relevant right-wink face).

HOWEVER—The “I can’t do it” thought is a full lie. Sarah (Abraham’s wife) was able to go through the process and despite her old age give birth to the promise—child Isaac. Now, Sarah wasn’t perfect. She was far from it indeed and in her imperfection God’s righteousness didn’t back up on His promise. No matter what you have done, how many times you’ve doubter what counts is what you’re doing now, and what you’re willing to do to move forward. You can give birth to many nations. It is in your finger tips whether you’re willing to move forward or not.

Sometimes we get the hardest assignment or the biggest promises in the darkest moments and can’t seem to see the light to complete those assignments or to find hope to believe those promises, at times we get both in one shot. But what we do while we are there is extremely important. Refocus. If you have lost your vision I encourage you to go back to your promise and remember what you’re made of, what moves you, what makes your heart warm, what passions you and is calling you. Don’t let your heart be trouble by what you’re seeing right now. Think outside your head, and refocus on someone else.

We might not always understand the “why” of at least 70% of the things we go through in life but can get to know the “what for” at the end of the process, if while we’re going through the hardship we make a conscious decision to learn something from it. And even if its not a hardship if we decide to give our all to the situation in order to get the best learning experience from it to avoid making the same mistakes or to expand and grow (even if we face a similar situation again) we will not react the same way.

The key is on being determined to take action to avoid abrupt reactions that could shift the mold in which we are through fiery process. You’re mold is unique.

Have you heard of that saying, “you will reap what you have sown”? Sometimes it seems so unfair, especially when you have sown goodness in people and get bitterness in return, treated unfairly, and with disrespect… correct!? I know! You’re not alone. I too been there my dear. This happens at home, at work, at the park, grocery store and even at the fine restaurant we want to go have a nice sit down dinner with our love ones.

Now, have you heard of the truth that “hurt people hurt people”, that bitterness you’re tasting may not be from the seed you planted, and learning to identify that is very important in order to end self-blame. You may not not be able to change a bitter damaged heart with who you don’t have a relationship with (i.e. at the restaurant, grocery store etc.) but you can try to seek help as a family for your loved ones and with your love ones. In the case of your co-workers, employees, or employers you can suggest/do webinars , conferences on how to have the communication, let go of the past and move forward at work. You can’t change anyone, but can change and refocus your thoughts every morning and every night.

I tell you what else is possible to refuse that energy, that time, that thought, and that heart in someone else, into something else, a new activity a new idea, a new creation, a new version, and improvement of yourself perhaps.

Think about how you can start sowing in someone else’s life, take your focus from that situation and move it to what you can do next.

Where can you be productive, how can you keep moving towards your promise? Remember you can still produce as long as you have life! Become the father and mother of nations expand and grow.

You need to believe!!

With love as always,

Denise Kilby

©️2019 Denise Kilby Life Coach & Christian Lay Counseling. All rights reserved.

2 thoughts on “Refocus

  1. Sometimes we get our heart set on something and it doesn’t turn out as we hoped it would and we have to let go, even though it hurts. I have been through this 3 times in 3 different situations in the last six months and with each one I was determined to not give up. But I had to, and in each of those situations I had to re-focus and see things differently because those situations were bringing me down. I didn’t realize that at the time and had a very hard time letting go, but in hindsight I see that God was getting me on a better path. I’m still not completely sure what it is but I’m in a better position now than I was and new dreams are forming. I’m sure it will be a process and can’t wait to see what comes next. Thank-you for the thought-provoking article!


    1. Thank you, and you for taking the time to read. I am glad that you’re able to reflect and trust the process. That is what life is all about, we may not know all the roads of our very own town but it is about getting older and realizing that we haven’t discovered them that make our car rides still exciting. As long as you’re still willing to thrive you will always find a new road!


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