A Little About Your Author!

A little about this picture and myself…

It was about 6:54 am and I was at work just starting my shift about two days ago leaving my hair down from a bun. Before before heading back to the crowd of youths I care for and co-workers looking what I felt like a “mess” since there’s no mirrors in the office I decided to use my cell phone camera as a mirror because I don’t take selfies anymore (hmm, can this mean I lost some self confidence? I asked… I may have to do some #selfcheck on it later).

However, with the years I have learned to love my hair literally despite the criticisms of a lot of people (close friends, family members and of course myself) once I surpassed those critics which is usually the hardest (at least myself) I learned not to care as much nowadays.

Okay back to the story… so I had just let my hair down and I thought “eh I’d let it finish drying ‘it looks good’ and smiled snapped the selfie”… my thought process was the following:

“Don’t ever forget to smile ever when no one is watching, remember to go out there and smile at others-chances are that 99% of them will smile back at you”.

Subconsciously as a defense mechanism, perhaps I always try to think that even if we don’t look our best when we smile we end up representing ourselves better and thus feeling better afterwards as a result, giving us a chance to obtain our priorities straight and goals met.

With the years I’ve notice that as I learned to love my hair, my hair feels silkier, and it always smells very good, all I need to do to in order to acquired some waves is place it in a bun and it looks like I used a hot curling tool. I don’t use hair gel (dislike it with my entire soul) and of course that also means I don’t use hair spray either.

My hair texture has changed dramatically in the past 7 years or so I would say and from when I was a child (oh gosh I wish I had a before and after of the AFRO). I have noticed that it doesn’t curl how I desire it sometimes but I’ve learned to love it this way. Thus, I do NOT appreciate people telling me “I can tell you never do anything to it” with a sarcastic tone, or “I can tell you’re happy cause you did your hair today” when I straighten it.” Like really… really…ughz. My happiness does not depend on how I rock my hair!

The way I wear my hair doesn’t define me… it really doesn’t, I’m being honest. I am the most introverted and unpredictable individual you may get to know and I am totally fine being this way. I think I still can’t even define myself to 100%; I am constantly learning and evolving, growing and developing myself. I believe this is a norm for everyone who majors in psychology and we are okay with with. I am okay with growing everyday.

As a matter of fact wearing my hair like I have it on this image is the way I feel closest to myself, I like to be natural, to the point that I don’t like to filter my images because I want everyone to get to see me as I am. But if I want my hair straighter, and my images black and white and highly pigmented, or make up on my face I want to feel like I can do so as well, and  I will do so and be happy with it.

Let’s learn how to communicate who we are in a healthy way readers, and understand that we are all different and beautiful in our own way. Make sure to check on those who you say you love and ask those you don’t know if they’re okay when you don’t see a smile on their face, sometimes asking “are you okay” does not need words. Not everyone knows how to smile but smiles are contagious. Check on everyone often.

We are all different, but all deserve to be happy!

So on the image you’re seeing I am posting a super, mega close up selfie 🤳🏽 with my hair the way I love it the most, just air dry with gray hair being me 100% trying to remind you to be you 100% and to never forget to smile.

Fun fact:

Stop doing whatever you’re doing and smile for 3 seconds and pay attention to how well you’ll feel after, because smiling releases neurotransmitters called endorphins that are released when you smile. These are triggered by the movements of the muscles in your face, which is interpreted by your brain, which in turn releases these chemicals. Endorphins are responsible for making us feel happy, and they also help lower stress levels.

So let’s make those muscles in your face stronger and when someone tells you something that makes no sense to them but total sense to you SMILE …me “you never do your hair and you always look crazy” I smile because smiling makes me happy

Be you, be naturally unique you are more, you are blessed to be a blessing to others here I am no make up, no filter no problem!

©️2020 Denise Kilby New Hope Christian Life Coaching. All rights reserved.