Temporary Pleasures Can Leave You Empty
We live in a world that chases happiness like it’s something we can grasp if we just run fast enough. New relationships, new experiences, new distractions, it all feels good in the moment. But have you ever noticed that after the excitement fades, you’re left sitting with yourself again, or running from it, facing the same emptiness you tried to outrun?
I’ve learned that true joy, lasting peace, doesn’t come from temporary pleasures. It comes from knowing who you are, who you belong to, and what truly matters.
The enemy is clever. He doesn’t show up as something obviously destructive; he disguises his traps in what looks good, what feels exciting, and what keeps us distracted just enough to ignore the truth. And the truth is, happiness that comes from self-indulgence, dishonesty, or seeking validation from the wrong places will always leave you emptier than before.
Lessons From a Coaching Session
I remember a coaching session with someone who had spent years in a cycle of toxic relationships, constantly searching for the kind of love that would make her feel whole. She told me, “I just want to be happy.” But every time she thought she had found it, the happiness would disappear. The relationship would crumble, the thrill would fade, the abuse grew bigger and the empty feeling lingered and she’d find herself back where she started—disappointed, self-loathing, hurt, and questioning why nothing ever lasted.
I asked her, “Do you really want happiness? Or do you want peace?”
Because there’s a difference. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, but peace, true peace—comes from within. It’s not something you chase; it’s something you cultivate by aligning yourself with God’s truth.
That conversation made me reflect on my own life. I’ve had moments where I’ve tried to hold on to things that weren’t meant for me, convincing myself that happiness was just around the corner if I could just fix a situation or make something work. But every time, God showed me that I was searching in the wrong places. He wasn’t withholding happiness from me—He was leading me to something deeper.
The Real Power: Self-Control
People often think power is about doing whatever you want, real power is found in self-control, having the ability to do anything but choosing not to when it goes against what is right. The word of God tells us that, “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial” (1 Corinthians 10:23).
You can chase after whatever makes you feel good in the moment, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for your soul. The enemy whispers, “You deserve to be happy.” But at what cost? At the cost of peace? Of integrity? Of your relationship with God? Of your relationship with others?
The carnal mind will never find lasting joy because it constantly needs more, I needs more attention, more distractions, more validation. But when you walk in the Spirit, joy isn’t something you chase. It’s something you carry.
Choosing What’s Harder but Holier
It’s not easy to choose self-control over indulgence. A person feels more powerful by choosing what brings them “happiness”. It’s not easy to say no when temptation is knocking. Temptation is seen as opportunities. It’s not easy to sit with your emotions instead of running from them. Vulnerability is felt and seen as weakness. But anything that is truly worth having requires discipline, and that includes the peace and joy that come from living in alignment with God and doing what is morally right with and towards others. That comes from having integrity.
I may suffer by choosing righteousness. I may suffer by choosing to love, by choosing to forgive, by choosing to let go of what’s easy and comfortable. But I’d rather suffer in obedience than find temporary comfort in disobedience.
Because at the end of the day, the peace I have in God is greater than any fleeting happiness this world could offer.
Something to Think
If you find yourself constantly chasing things that don’t last, maybe it’s time to stop running. Maybe it’s time to sit in God’s presence and let Him fill the spaces you’ve been trying to fill on your own.
There are no truly happy cheaters. No happy liars. No happy abusers. No one who lives in deception or sin is truly at peace. But those who walk in truth, even through suffering, will always have a joy that the world cannot take away.
Ask yourself: Am I chasing happiness? Or am I walking in joy and true freedom?
©️2025 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.
