Have you ever found yourself holding on to something familiar, even when it no longer serves you? It’s a common human experience, rooted deeply in our fear of the unknown. Recently I was sharing something with a dear friend and she said to me “en mi pais dicen que más vale diablo conocido que por conocer,” which translates to “in my country they say ‘the devil we know is better than the devil we don’t know’”. As you may have noticed I heard this phrase in Spanish for the first time a couple of months ago and I had no idea it existed before and that it was also a common saying in English. Recently I read it on a LinkedIn Post in English and I said to myself, “Okay what is this telling me?” This proverb perfectly encapsulates the fear that keeps us tethered to what’s familiar. It’s important to note that this phrase is not meant to encourage holding on but rather to emphasize how we sometimes cling to what no longer helps us simply because it’s all we know.
The Comfort of the Known
Think about the many aspects of our lives where this fear plays out: jobs, neighborhoods, organizations, churches, and relationships. How often do we stay in a job that drains us and where there is no room for growth, remain in a neighborhood that no longer feels like home and has changed drastically because we know the home, or insist on holding on to relationships that have run their course even after the other party has moved on? The comfort of the known can be incredibly compelling. We tell ourselves that it’s better to stick with what we know, even if it’s flawed or harmful than to venture into the unknown, which could be worse.
The Emotional Toll
Holding on to relationships or people who have already let us go can bring emotional distress, mental instability, and a lack of focus and productivity. When we cling to what no longer serves us, we are often left feeling unworthy and undervalued. This can erode our self-esteem and make us question our worth. Recognizing our value and understanding that we deserve better is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being.
The Cost of Holding On
This mindset can keep us stuck in places that no longer serve us. We settle for the old, used, damaged, leftovers, and scraps because “they are familiar and something is better than nothing, at least I know this devil-right”?! We hold on to the past, fearing that letting go might lead to something worse. But in doing so, we often miss out on the new, unopened, improved, untouched, and preserved opportunities waiting for us.
The Power of Surrender
There is immense power in surrendering and letting go. It takes courage to release our grip on the familiar and step into the unknown. But in doing so, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and growth. It’s important to do the work to determine if staying and growing where we are is possible. However, when it’s time for a change, letting go can be vital.
Embracing Change
Change can be daunting, but it’s also a natural part of life. Embracing it can lead to personal and professional growth, new relationships, and exciting opportunities. By letting go of what no longer serves us, we create space for new experiences and new beginnings.
Conclusion
The next time you find yourself clinging to the familiar out of fear, remember that the saying, “más vale diablo conocido que por conocer” does not mean that that you have to remain holding on. Recognize the power in letting go and surrendering to the unknown. It may be uncomfortable, but it’s often necessary for growth and new opportunities. Don’t settle for the old and damaged when the new and improved are waiting just beyond your comfort zone.
“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.” – C. JoyBell C.
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