It’s the middle of the week and the Valentine’s Day plans and gifts purchasing is getting real.
Let’s talk for a minute about love, Valentine’s Day and where we find ourselves in the middle of it all.
Studies demonstrate that 45% of people feel pressure around Valentine’s Day. From expectations to planning something perfect to social/cultural norms and the need to deliver. These studies also reflect that many individuals feel financial and emotional stress around Valentine’s Day. With surveys results showing that 58% of men and 45% of women report Valentine’s Day-related financial stress, and a majority also cite emotional pressure (for many different reasons).
This Valentine’s Day spendings are expected to be around $29.1 billion this year; more than ever before. With the average person spending around $200.00 in a simple gift and dinner. About 55% of the US population (consumers) are expected to celebrate Valentine’s Day with gifts for a romantic partner and another 35% percent for friend, coworker, and relatives.
However, there’s more to Valentine’s Day and Love. According to Psychology Today, around 25% of adults feel negative emotions (like loneliness, disappointment, annoyance, stress, or nervousness) around Valentine’s Day. Business Wire also shared that a counseling/therapy survey found about 47% of Americans feel stressed about their love lives during this period, with certain groups (like Gen Z and singles) reporting even higher stress.
People feel stress to perform and deliver. To be liked, and accepted.
In another hand: The Attachment Project shared that social media comparisons like seeing idealized romantic posts, can make people feel more anxious or judged around these days.
It appears that anyone can show love when something looks good, and easy—even when it’s expected.
Now can love last after this week? Could Valentine’s Day Love withstand the winds after the truths are revealed and there’s no red, pink and white all over the place? Could we deal with the calm after the adrenaline and expectations ceases?
It’s possible, but definitely harder than what it seems. Staying when the surface stops distracting you from what’s underneath it’s for true warriors with bows and arrows who go ready to kill anything that comes their way.
I guess it’s worth sharing that about 26% of individuals feel Valentine’s Day has become “too commercialized” and there’s no true feelings or connection.
Can we just date for fun? Should we live a pretend day in between the mundane and familiar?
To find long lasting love one must be willing to break cycles and plant seeds that will grow long lasting fruits.
We should never pretend to be, we should always make sure we are.
Most of us are taught, whether subtly or directly to value what looks put together. We’re drawn (attracted) to confidence, success, and ease. We admire heroic acts and the aesthetic of a life that seems whole and easy to live or be part of. But real people living a real life in real relationships, rarely stay in that space for long.
Past the aesthetic is where history is made. It’s where you find the experiences that shape someone’s nervous system. The losses individuals and couples adapt around determines the wins they’re willing to go after.
The disappointments that taught them how to protect themselves it’s the part of the story that doesn’t show up in first impressions but highly influences how someone loves, communicates, and copes.
Struggle isn’t always evident, for the most part it’s slow and invisible. Most people seek to hide it, especially around Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is learning how to love beyond what’s EXPECTED, beyond celebrations, and good days.
Valentine’s Day is building trust after betrayal, continued effort and showing up in relationships while carrying old hurt that hasn’t fully resolved. It’s picking off the thorns that tried to keep you apart.
If you’re holding on to survive 2026 Valentine’s Day, whether you’re single, ready to mingle or not—I would love to encourage you.
In mental health and relational work, we know that pain doesn’t disappear just because time passes. Pain has the ability to settle into patterns and resurface when one less expect it.
Often time showing up in reactions, boundaries, fears, and false expectations. Be reminded that not all people are “difficult” or “broken” — in many cases they’re responding to what they’ve lived through. To what they had to show up as, even. They’re behaving from what they hold inside. What no one knows anything about.
There is something deeply important about being seen past the surface and reaching out to get to know people better. We don’t have to pretend to impress anyone. If you feel that you must deliver this Valentine’s Day, you might be forcing yourself to live a life that’s not yours.
True love will emerge when someone is met with curiosity instead of expectations and judgment. That train of thought causes a shift in your nervous system that you will not want to trade for any amount of chocolate or roses in the world. Be curious and receive your answers.
There’s nothing more beautiful, romantic, and intimate than to be with someone who understands struggles and doesn’t live pretending or running away from reality. Someone who knows that healing can become possible when we show up as our authentic self. Someone who’s willing to listen, and share. That’s a true-heart-turn-on right there!
Believe me, you have the ability to move on and live a happy life in love. You can do this when you acknowledge that healing in progress sometimes looks like letting it all burn and reconsidering building anew. Take ownership of YOUR Valentine’s Day.
This is where real growth happens.
In learning how to move forward with honesty. In developing resilience that doesn’t demand pushing harder, but in becoming more aware, more regulated, more compassionate toward ourselves, and toward others.
There is true beauty in that process. We don’t need to be flashy.
Anyone can love the aesthetic. That’s easy!
Trust me, I know that around Valentine’s Day, there’s a lot of noise that feels hard to silent. We see and hear about romance, flowers, gestures, and the aesthetics of love and affection. Don’t let any of that cloud your vision. The best memories of love don’t event make it to a card. The decision to keep choosing someone even after the illusion fades it’s the win after Valentine’s Day.
Find yourself before you find others. Choose yourself before you choose others. Date and get to know yourself before you date and try to get anyone else.
Be well and be mighty in LOVE!
Happy Valentine’s Day 2026!
©️2026 New Hope MHCLC. All Rights Reserved.
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