To Love Is a Choice:

Beyond Feelings

Love, in its truest form, is far more than an emotion that sweeps us off our feet. It’s not just about the butterflies or the thrill of excitement. While feelings of love can be powerful and intoxicating, the reality is that they come and go, and love in its mature state is sustained by choice. It’s the decision to remain, to nurture, and to care even when the emotions waver.

The Myth of Effortless Love

Society often paints love as something that should be effortless, a force that magically holds people together through thick and thin. But the truth is that love requires effort, intentionality, and commitment. There will be moments in any relationship where the initial spark dims, where misunderstandings happen, and where life’s challenges test the bond between two people. In those moments, love becomes a decision, not just an emotion.

To love someone truly means to decide each day to show up for them, to offer kindness, patience, and understanding, even when it’s difficult. It’s about choosing to remain faithful, to communicate openly, and to forgive when needed. These actions stem from a conscious choice to keep love alive.

Love as an Act of Will

Choosing to love means making an active effort to prioritize your partner’s well-being and happiness. This doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself or ignoring your own needs, but it does mean practicing empathy and selflessness. When we choose love, we learn that it grows stronger when we invest time, energy, and care into the relationship.

This choice manifests in small, everyday moments:

Listening when they need to vent after a long day, even if you’re tired.
Offering forgiveness when they’ve wronged you, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes.
Choosing to see their strengths when their flaws are more visible.
Supporting their dreams, even when the path forward seems uncertain.

Each of these moments is an opportunity to love—not because you feel like it, but because you’ve committed to it.

Love Through Challenges

There’s a common misconception that when challenges arise, love has faded. However, the reality is that challenges are inevitable in any relationship, and it’s how we respond to them that determines the strength of the love shared. When we choose love, we don’t walk away at the first sign of conflict or hardship. Instead, we lean into the struggle, determined to grow and work through it together.

This doesn’t mean staying in unhealthy or abusive relationships. True love includes self-respect and boundaries, and sometimes the best choice is to walk away for the sake of your well-being. But in healthy, loving relationships, challenges offer an opportunity to deepen the connection, to learn more about each other, and to come out stronger on the other side.

The Freedom of Choosing Love

The beauty of love being a choice is that it gives us agency. We are not helpless victims of fleeting emotions; we have the power to choose how we act, how we respond, and how we love. This is freeing because it means that love doesn’t have to end when the “honeymoon phase” is over or when life gets tough. By continually choosing to love, we create a foundation that can withstand time, trials, and tribulations.

In a World of Temporary Pleasures, Choose Integrity in Love

In a world that often glorifies convenience and temporary pleasures, choosing love—real, steadfast love—requires integrity. Integrity in love means staying true to the commitment you’ve made, even when no one is watching, and even when it’s easier to walk away. It’s choosing to love with honesty, with loyalty, and with respect, honoring both yourself and your partner.

The foundation of integrity ensures that love is more than just an emotion; it is a reflection of who you are and the values you stand by. This aligns with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which says:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

True love, grounded in integrity, is not swayed by momentary emotions or external pressures. It is intentional, enduring, and chosen each day.

The Power of Love Rooted in Integrity

When we love with integrity, we not only uplift our relationships but also reflect God’s love for us. His love is unwavering and unconditional, reminding us that true love is about more than fleeting emotions—it’s about sacrifice, trust, and commitment. When we choose love, especially love rooted in integrity, we choose to reflect the very heart of God, who calls us to love others as He has loved us.

So, in the moments when love feels like a struggle or when emotions falter, remember that to love is a choice—a choice that reflects our deepest values, our faith, and the integrity we hold in our hearts.

With my deepest love, in Christ 🤍

New Hope MHCLC: A Whole Person Approach