Sex addiction is a very delicate subject many people today are unaware of facing any & others are on absolute denial
Being that this is a faith-based blog and counseling site I will be discussing this topic from a Christian perspective, brace yourself and don’t lose hope!
According to the textbook Caring for People God’s Way, Sexual addiction starts with the “fantasy or preoccupation with sexual thought at the top of the cycle” (Clinton, Hart, Ohlschlager (2005). Many people today including believers of the faith, Christians and non-Christians are unaware of how easy it is to become sexually addicted and a larger number live in absolute denial. A lot of sex addicts want God’s supernatural intervention in their lives, in one way or another, but are not willing to surrender because they live in a world who tells them that “it is okay to please oneself”, the problem comes when we stop pleasing God to please ourselves.
People who have been abuse, whether physically, mentally, sexually (sexually molested), emotionally or in any other form are more likely to become sexually addicted. Also, people who feel a sense of inferiority.
I believe that understanding the meaning of sexual addiction is the first step into understanding how to break free from it, because a lot of people still don’t believe this is an actual condition that involves neurochemicals. A person can become addicted by an initial act of curiosity, or by simply satisfying the bodies sensory feelings—this can create a routine that will eventually create and addictive pattern.
Once a person is too deep into the addiction the person can becomes depress, and satisfaction doesn’t come as easy anymore. It will usually come after a feeling of loneliness and in a lot of cases it will be followed by more emptiness. Which is usually the result of trying to fill a prior void (from the past-or present) that only the Spirit of God can fill, with something that will only bring temporary satisfaction. It is much like being thirsty and trying to fill a cup with water that has the bottom of it cut off over-and-over yet, obtaining the same results. We will never quench our thirst because we are not drinking anything, we are engaging in a wasteful act. Likewise, no matter how many times we engage in the act of sexual intercourse, masturbation or watch pornography on the internet, perhaps go out and rent or buy a prostitute that feeling (that void) will always be there.
Sexual addiction can lead to suicidal attempts
Now, since the person is feeling depressed and at times even suicidal the person begins to look for something that makes them feel better, to achieve the same effect and feed (in a sense) the chemicals that this addiction has created in their brain (Clinton et al., 2005). They go back to do more of what makes them feel good and provides them with the temporary medicine for their depression, serotonin. “Such a crisis will make one exquisitely aware of hopelessness and depression. Hopefully, it will also dawn on the addict that he/she is powerless and that a Higher Power alone can and will be there in that moment” (Healthyplace.com 2018).
With time the addiction begins to progress, and the way to deal with this is to ignore it or to change it. However, they start feeling lonelier, become angry, and the consequences can be terrible. Because where there is sexual immorality there is a separation from the Spirit of God. So, what is done initially to fill a void is now creating a deeper one, the whole cup is breaking, and the water is spilling all over the place.
Thankfully to all no one has died through submersion and inhalation that comes from a water that spills from a cup
Being aware of sexual problems can help us identify whether we have some or not, I say some because they vary. At one end of the spectrum are those who simply fantasize and masturbate. On the other end are those who commit sexual crimes.
When a person is emotionally hurt that person usually looks for ways to feel better and in most cases as humans who live in the flesh we like to do things to make ourselves feel better. “Abuse leaves addicts lonely, angry, frightened, and confused”(Clinton et al., 2005). We tend to say everyone is hurting me, everyone has hurt me, everyone will hurt me, I might as well love myself and do what makes me feel good, and this way I don’t have to worry about anyone else. Even when cheating on a spouse people can tend to think of themselves as total victims alone in the world.
Unfortunately doing these things on our own can lead us astray from the will of God and into the hands of the enemy, we begin to forget our purpose, our calling and who we are in Christ. Fortunately, there’s grace and hope for those who have gone astray, if they repent and seek the help they need and are willing to try it again with Christ. “For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.” (1 Peter 2:25)
Clinton, T., Hart, A., & Ohlschlager, G. (2005). Caring for people God’s way: personal and emotional issues, addictions, grief, and trauma. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.
Depression and Sex Addiction: The Moment Between the Trapezes https://www.healthyplace.com/sex/sex-and-depression/depression-and-sex-addiction-the-moment-between-the-trapezes
If you or anyone you know is suffering of sexual addiction I encourage you to seek help and become free this is a link to a national and confidential help line https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline If you are a victim of sexual abuse I know anyone who is a victim of sexual abuse I exhort you to call the local authorities immediately and become a free person!
The following link is Jace Downey’s testimonial a very brave woman who shares her sexual addiction story with the world. Everything started when she was just 5 years of age https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/5739355/sex-addiction-almost-killed-me-woman-dangerous-hookups-suicide/
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As always with your best interest at heart and mind,
—Denise Kilby #letsconnect