Peace With God, Peace With People

Peace is a word we all like because it’s something we all long to feel, but rarely experience it consistently. We long for it at home and in our families. We desire it in our workplaces and in our churches. We seek it within ourselves and in most of our relationships. We even have our own little place or space that we feel more at peace. Yet with experiences and time we often discover that peace is fragile. At times difficult to obtain and delicate to maintain. Peace slips through the heart during special occasions that call for us to seek it the most.

We treat peace as if it’s mostly a matter of managing people or up to external sources. If only others would change, then would we have peace huh. If only circumstances would improve. Not everyone is aware that our peace with ourselves, and people has everything to do with our peace with God. The way we see Him influences how we relate to others. The way we relate to Him affects how we welcome peace from Him. These aspects inevitably shape how we do relationships here on earth.

Vertical Peace

Jesus summed it up simply: love God, love people. These are the two greatest commands, deeply connected and spoken together by the Lord, emphasizing their significance in our lives. Our relationship with God shapes our understanding of love and influences how we interact with those around us. When we nurture our faith and trust in Him, our capacity for compassion and kindness towards others flourishes. However, when we encounter doubts or hold back our hearts due to fear or past hurts, it governs our actions negatively. It leads to strained relationships and misunderstandings. This interplay between loving God and loving others is essential. The strength of our faith fuels our ability to engage meaningfully with God and the world. This creates a ripple effect of goodwill and understanding that can transform communities.

If we believe God is merciful toward us, we extend mercy to people. If we see Him as harsh, critical, or have a distant relationship with Him, we often reflect that same posture back onto those around us.

Broken relationships aren’t just relational issues; they are spiritual ones. When we are restless with God, we will inevitably be restless with people. When we are at peace with Him, that peace flows outward into how we live, speak, forgive, and reconcile. I will say it again.

When we are at peace with Him, that peace flows outward into how we live, speak, forgive, and reconcile.

Everywhere we look, brokenness reminds us how difficult living in peace can be. Families dread holiday gatherings because sitting around the same table with unresolved tension feels unbearable. Parents and children drift apart due to financial issues. Siblings stop speaking for an inheritance, and decades of resentment quietly shape the atmosphere. and generations to come.

Businesses suffer because partnerships collapse under the weight of mistrust or greed. Ministries fracture because division, gossip, and offense choke out unity. Even friendships—once sweet and life-giving—can dissolve over misunderstandings that spiral out of control.

The result is often exhaustion. We begin to believe peace in the world is impossible. This is because we have not sought peace in our world. We think some wounds can never heal. We feel that people are simply too difficult to deal with. But this despair only grows when we try to manufacture peace apart from God.

Real peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the presence of God at the center of our lives.

Keep Forgiveness at the Core

True peace requires forgiveness. There is no way around it. Yet forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood practices in human relationships.

Forgiveness is not pretending an offense never happened. It’s not sweeping pain under the rug, or calling something “fine” when it actually cuts deeply. Forgiveness is also not excusing or justifying wrong behavior. Instead, forgiveness is releasing the debt. It is choosing to entrust the wrong done to us into God’s hands instead of carrying it ourselves.

This doesn’t mean consequences vanish or reconciliation is automatic, nor that reconciliation must take place. Some relationships require distance, boundaries, or wisdom in how we re-engage.

Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. It is about refusing to let bitterness poison us and dictate our actions, and steal our peace.

When we forgive, we echo the forgiveness God has given us. We admit we are not the judge, jury, and executioner of others’ failures. We trust God with justice, and we trust Him to heal the wounds left behind.

We Will Struggle With Triggers

Let’s be honest: forgiveness does not erase memory. And this is where many of us wrestle. We think that because we feel a surge of pain when reminded of a hurt, we must not have truly forgiven. That is one of the biggest lies of the devil. Please, do not believe that! It is good to examine our hearts. But believing that we have not forgiven because we are triggered is to believe satan’s blatant lies.

A trigger is a reminder of event, which in a lot of cases its a painful memory. However, not all triggers are from a painful memory. A trigger can be a word, a place, a smell, a look, a sound, a texture, a scent. In short anything—that reactivates the memory of what happened. Triggers can stir up emotions like anger, fear, sadness, grief or resentment. And when they surface, it can feel as if we are back at square one, still chained to the offense.

Here’s the reminder, triggers don’t mean we haven’t forgiven. Not all triggers will bring up a negative memory. Beautiful memories from a trigger can arise negative emotions. Being triggered doesn’t mean that you don’t have peace. Being triggers mean we are human. They mean our minds and hearts are still working. They mean there are layers of restoration God is still working through. They mean we were wounded and traumatized. The fact that we still feel means that we can still love. We can forgive and be redeemed.

Instead of condemning ourselves for being triggered, we can treat triggers as signals—reminders to lean into God’s peace again.

A trigger doesn’t undo forgiveness. It gives us another chance to reaffirm forgiveness. It’s an opportunity to pause, pray, and release the memory back into God’s hands.

How to Handle Triggers

When triggers rise up, here are ways we can manage them with God’s grace:

Pause and Breathe – Don’t rush past the moment. Notice what you’re feeling instead of burying it.
Pray Honestly – Tell God what surfaced. Name the emotion: anger, sadness, grief, resentment or fear (without shame). He can handle your raw emotions.
Reaffirm Forgiveness – Say it again: “Lord, I choose to forgive. I release this to You. This emotion will not steal my peace.” Forgiveness isn’t always a one-time event; sometimes it’s a repeated decision.
Ask for Healing – Invite God to meet you in the wound that was triggered. Healing happens over time, layer by layer. Think of a trigger like scar tissue being stretched or pushed against by the trigger.
Choose Peace – Refuse to let the trigger spiral into bitterness. Return to the peace God has given you. If this has to do with another person, ask God’s peace to fill that person’s heart with peace and wellness.

This process doesn’t erase the past, but it prevents the past from controlling the present. It keeps our forgiveness active and our peace intact.

When we experience vertical peace with God, the ripple effects spread into every relationship. Forgiveness becomes more natural because we know what it means to be forgiven. Managing our triggers becomes easier because we remember that we have forgiven. Mercy becomes easier because we live under God’s mercy. Triggers lose their power because we carry them into His presence instead of letting them fester in secret.

When even one member of the family chooses peace over bitterness, families begin to heal. Businesses find an opportunity to grow healthier when leaders practice integrity and forgiveness instead of revenge. Ministries thrive when unity is guarded through humility and grace.

This doesn’t mean every relationship will be perfect. Ooff, far from it! Some wounds take time to heal. Others leave a huge scar tissue. Some reconciliation may not be possible in this life. But the difference is we walk through these challenges. God’s peace anchors us to the cross we are called to carry. We are no longer ruled by resentment or fear.

The heart of it all

Peace with people begins with peace with God. Triggers lose their power when we learn to see them as reminders to lean deeper into His healing power.

If you are struggling to find peace these days, don’t start by trying to fix everything horizontally. Start with the vertical connection. Make peace with God. Receive His forgiveness. Rest in His love. And then let that peace begin its ripple effect, one relationship at a time.

Real peace doesn’t come from people behaving perfectly. It comes from God’s presence in the middle of it all.

New Hope MHCLC: A Whole Person Approach