I Got Used to The Speed of Time
I Got Used to Me
Getting used to you after a long period of your life of not having the privilege to embrace your very own presence is possible and transformative. At the onset of monumental relational shifts, the mere thought of a Saturday morning without the routines you’ve known and relied upon can feel inconceivable. At least that was my case. Six months into the reshaping of life may feel like walking through fire, as if you are destined to scorch through ashes. Twelve months in, well you may find yourself wondering what’s left of you. It can seem as though you were destined to dust away, and what’s left is a fragment of the person you thought you were.
Thankfully, gradually, we begin to discern what we were used to, and what we’ve grown accustomed to, without the pressure to rush, force, or judge ourselves.
With time, we make amends with the shifting and adjust to the new road.
When the shift finally finish taking place, you may feel as though you will never fully adjust to it. But this is your reminder that we get to find New Hope. Just like Jesus who even in the midst of pain and suffering was able to look out for others during His most difficult testing times—while He hung on the cross, we too get to find peace, strength and extend love to those we love the most. We may say “I don’t know how this is even possible.” And that is because it is not by our strength or might.
That’s the testament and evidence of the Arising New Hope is found in the day-to-day. Each day we are given the opportunity to find new Hope, without rush.
When we are going through a season of separation or shift in distance from those we love the most, time seems to move fast yet simultaneously slow.
Seconds feel like minutes, minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days, days feel like months, and months–even if just two, may feel like years.
In my experience there were times when it felt like years being tortured with a fly buzzing on your ear. I hate fies. What a torturing buzz.
During the first 12 months (or even more for some) of grieving an unwanted shift, you may go through deep moments of cognitive dissonance. That’s what I compare a buzzing fly with, dissonance.
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