It’s Hard to Admit and Confess That We Lack Trust and Have a Need for Control
Hard work to walk without clarity. To accept that we might be walking in disbelief that good can come after a bad season. We fight to admit that we lack faith, that by seeking clarity we reveal a need to control outcomes.
That way of thinking could be keeping us stagnant in old patterns and behaviors. That’s why God invites us to stand up and walk toward Him—without perfect clarity, and simple trust.
Friend, it’s possible that we are walking around with a prayer request for clarity and a daily fight to trust God good outcomes.
The loaded burden here is that clarity demands control, while trust requires surrender. When we fight to be in control we risk burnout, overwhelmed, spiritual, mental and physical exhaustion. When we surrender our trust in that God is in control, we receive peace, joy, strength, courage, and empowerment through the Holy Spirit, while we wait for the miracle. Having joy and grief, laughter and loss at the same time, it’s more normal that you think.
Isn’t that how life so often feels? We don’t need to have it all clear. Many of us know this.
Then why do we fight for clarity as if that will our ability to do what only God can? Why wrestle to know and see things clear to believe in miracles? Isn’t that what a miracle is all about, receiving something the supernatural that without the intervention of God it could never happen?
With trust we can see Jesus change the most inexplicable circumstances.
It’s there, in those overlapping places and wrestlings of the mind that we most need the reminder: Jesus wept. He is not strange to pain and suffering.
As a natural problem-solver and helper, I know it can be hard to accept that we don’t have the answer, that we are scared, and imperfect flawed humans. That life feels hard and that uncertainty weight us down. It’s hard to confess that many of us have walked with Jesus for a long time and still walking in sin and lack of trust.
Whenever I am reminded of the things I feel I’ve lost, that maybe God has purposely removed. Or when I feel desperate to have clarity over why I may be facing something difficult, like an unfairness in treatment or abuse. When life’s hardships reminds me that have no answer for why people do what they do, or why they wrong us. And whenever the pain and suffering that a hard and unwanted season of life brings like a tornado, I ground myself in Psalms 121 “I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;”
Psalms 121:1-3 NIV
Reciting this verse doesn’t remove the load of the pain. But it calms my mind and spirit, it reminds me where my help comes and will come from—time and time again.
Because Jesus can relate with what I go through, with what you go through, and bring clarity and peace when we place our trust in Him.
Let’s go there:
Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus, despite knowing that He would raise him from the dead. He knew exactly what was about to happen even before He headed to town. He had already told Martha, “Your brother will rise again” (John 11:23).
Many ask, then why He wept? He walked toward what everyone saw as a funeral with complete trust, that brought everyone clarity. Yet—He wept.
Why?
He wept because He willingly got to entered into the grief of Mary, Martha, and the community that surrounded them. He got to feel grief. His tears were an act of willing-shared sorrow. God in His sovereignty perfect human that He was while on this earth, had to feel emotions to relate. He wanted to.
He was the powerful, sovereign, miracle-working God in the flesh, yet in that moment He chose to feel the pain, and the weight of human loss. His empathy at that moment allows Him to connect with the very grief, pain, suffering, sorrow, confusion and despair that still crushes us today.
Jesus experiences emotions more deeply than we ever could. He wept before we did. He knows the ache of separation, the burn that death leaves in the heart. He knows the questions that arise in the human spirit, and the silence that follows when a loved one is gone. His tears remind us that He is not a distant observer but a very present Savior—one who enters our pain before and while He brings our healing.
My friend, when you cry, you don’t cry alone. When I cry, I don’t cry alone. The God who raises the dead also bends low to share our sorrow. His divinity doesn’t cancel His humanity—it perfects it. That’s why His tears at Lazarus’ tomb made such a profound impact. They tell us that our grief is not ignored, but carried by One who understands it fully. This is where He then invites us to take part as witness of His healing miracle in our own lives, and lives of others. Jesus told the people standing nearby to “Take off the grave clothes and let him [Lazarus] go”. This event is recorded in John 11:44.
That’s a reminder that clarity is not what our hearts need most. What we need is trust to obtain clarity. In our humanity we want physical evidence, quick answers, explanations, timelines, and guarantees. Jesus offers us something better. He offers Himself to walk alongside our grief. He doesn’t always remove our tears right away, but He promises to walk with us through them and with time—He wipes the pain with His healing love.
Be careful What You Pray For:
One time a man came to Mother Teresa and asked her to pray for him. She asked, “What would you like me to pray for?” He replied, “Clarity.” Without hesitation she shook her head and said, “No, I will not pray for that. Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of.” Startled, he asked her why. She smiled and said, “I have never had clarity. What I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God.”
Ouch! That’s it. Trust: I will pray that if you’re reading this today, that you will trust God.
Trust is the belief that opens the arms of our spirit to receive the miracles God is ready to give us. The need for clarity reflects our desire to remain in control. Yes, it reveals our need to know where we’re going before we take the next step.
Trust releases control. Clarity demands an explanation. Trust rests in God’s character and not our own.
When Jesus stood before the tomb, He didn’t invite Mary and Martha into clarity—He invited them into belief. “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” (John 11:40).
Trust is not easy, but it is powerful. It is the bridge between our tears and God’s miracles.
Look at trust and remember Martha’s walk to Jesus. She was on her way to her miracle and she didn’t even know it. Reflect and ask yourself today, am I walking towards Jesus trusting that He is in control of this journey or am I walking to Him, doubting that He can do a miracle in my life?
In His timing, He spoke life: “Lazarus, come out!” (John 11:43). The same voice that raised Lazarus is the voice that wipes your tears today and is speaking life to your spirit.
I pray that you can see it. Until then, please remember: His presence is our comfort, and His tears are our assurance that He felt, He understands.
Would you pray with me?
Lord, thank You that You are not far from my pain. Thank You for being a Savior who weeps with me, yet also carries the power to restore. Thank you carry Your own grief for humanity’s pain and lack of trust. I pray that You teach me to trust You even when I don’t have clarity. Increase my faith—“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Help me rest in the truth that You are present in my sorrow and faithful to bring new life in Your time, Jesus. In Your name I pray, Amen.
Need prayer and encouragement?
©️2025 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.
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