“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” — Jeremiah 17:9
There’s a Spiritual and Emotional Cost of the Chase: We’ve all been there.
From craving what we know isn’t good for our bodies, chasing after someone who clearly doesn’t want to be caught, to dreaming about a lifestyle that doesn’t serve our true purpose, honor God’s or who we truly are.
We think, “I need to have it. Then I’ll feel better.” And what the mind thinks, the brain acts upon. However, many times, even when we get it—if we get it—we still feel empty. Restless. Unsatisfied. So we move on to the next chase, the next person, the next “fix.”
Get ready to read on. This post is for anyone who’s caught in that pattern. Anyone who’s tired of chasing the wrong things and is ready to live from a place of peace, clarity, and spiritual alignment.
A Strange Pull Toward What’s Off-Limits
Let’s call it what it is: we often want the things we know we shouldn’t have. This isn’t new it started in the Garden of Eden. God gave Adam and Eve every tree in paradise, except one. Just one. A single tree they were asked to refrain from. A singular thing, they could not have. That one restriction became the focus. The forbidden became irresistible.
That’s human nature, friend. The moment something is off-limits, it becomes more desirable. This chase and desire have a name it’s called reactance—a psychological response to boundaries that makes us rebel against them.
Not everything that feels good is good. And not everything that seems harmless is harmless.
Why We Chase: The Psychology and the Spiritual Battle
We chase because many of us are broken, searching for something to make us whole. There are spaces that only God can fill, and no matter what we do to fill those voids, it’ll never be enough. We don’t chase because we’re bad people.
We Think Limited or Rarity Equals Value
For some evil reason, if something is rare, we assume it must be worth more. So we chase the latest fab, emotionally unavailable people, unattainable lifestyles, or high-status goals because they feel “special.” We assume that if we don’t have or feel that we have a certain kind of love, if we don’t take on the opportunities that are presented that we’ll look as though we don’t have a status. So we go on to obtain it.
Romans 12: 2 tells us to … “not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
The world says chase, but God says rest.
We Become Addicted to the High of the Pursuit
Did you know that chasing creates a chemical rush in the brain? Dopamine spikes when we anticipate a reward, not necessarily when we receive it. That’s why the thrill fades after we get what we want. Yikers! That’s the trap! We confuse excitement with purpose. We equate struggle with significance. We want to run on adrenaline and sleep in peace.
We Want to Prove Our Worth
A lot of our chasing is really about proving something that we aren’t or feel like we lack: I’m lovable. I’m successful. I’m worthy of attention. I’m not falling behind. I can still get it. I’m wanted. I can. I. I. I.
This striving is rooted in a huge lie that tells us that our identity comes from performance. But a believer should know that’s not true.
“You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession…” — 1 Peter 2:9
Don’t be silly! You don’t need to earn what’s already been given.
Chasing Becomes a Problem
Wanting something isn’t bad. But chasing it compulsively at the expense of your peace, integrity, purpose, or the well-being of others is a sign that something deeper is off. Seek and search within.
6 Signs You’re Caught in the Chase:
- You’re drawn to people or things that don’t honor your values.
- You feel anxious or unworthy when you’re not striving.
- You idealize relationships or lifestyles that aren’t rooted in truth.
- You ignore red flags because you’re fixated on the fantasy.
- You constantly say “once I have ___, then I’ll be happy.”
- You go after what you want, and the feeling of reward doesn’t last.
When this happens, we’re not only looking at a mental health issue—it’s a spiritual misalignment. You’re trying to fill a God-shaped hole with items, agendas, people, platforms, speaking engagements, work, porn, sex, drugs, hobbies, bad habits, and promises that will never satisfy.
Stop Chasing and Start Living
You can break the cycle. You can move from striving to surrender, from seeking validation to walking in your God-given identity and to your full potential.
Pause and Ask: What Am I Really Chasing?
Get honest with yourself. Don’t be ashamed. Ask yourself:
- Do I really want this, or do I just want to feel important?
- Is the chase for the newness because of what I’m lacking within?
- Is it worth it?
- What am I missing that I never feel complete?
- Do I need to address a deeper issue?
- Is this aligned with who God says I am?
- Am I chasing something that distracts me from what should matter the most?
Name the deeper need behind the desire. Often it’s love, peace, purpose, connection—things only God can truly provide when we are in alignment with him.
Practice Being Still
When was the last time you sat with your thoughts? Not while scrolling or listening to meaningless numbing reels, or intoxicating your brain with alcohol or drugs. When was the last time you truly sat in stillness and listened to the crying for help that lives within your soul?
The chase thrives in restlessness. God speaks in stillness. If you’re constantly busy, jumping from one thing to the next, your soul never has space to heal or hear.
“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10
Make time for quiet. Journal. Pray. Breathe. Let your nervous system reset. The less frantic you feel, the less seductive the chase becomes.
Submit Your Desires to God
It’s okay to want things. But don’t worship them, and don’t lose yourself in the chase. Submit every desire, good or questionable, to God.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4
Notice the order: first, delight in the Lord. Then your desires align. Then He fulfills them in the right way, at the right time. WOOHOO! That’s a reason to praise and celebrate!
Stop it! Let Go of Fantasies and Face Reality.
The things we chase are often idealized. We see the highlight reel and ignore the cost.
Let’s be real: Is it truly sustainable? Is this from God, or from culture? Would the future version of me thank me for this? God doesn’t operate in fantasy. He works in truth.
Anchor Your Identity in Christ
When you know who you are, you don’t chase things to prove it. Seek some psychological help. Therapy, Coaching, Mentoring, Pastoral Care. Root your worth in your identity as a child of God. Not your performance or your relationship or social status. Not in your achievements.
“For in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.” — Galatians 3:26
Once you stand in that truth, the need to chase fades.
There’s a Gift That Comes With Letting Go
When you stop chasing what isn’t meant for you, something beautiful happens: You stop wasting energy. You stop ignoring red flags. You start choosing peace over pressure. You hear God’s voice more clearly. You walk in confidence, not confusion.
Letting go is freedom. It’s maturity. It’s courage, grit. Faith in action.
If you’ve been chasing things that don’t serve you, don’t beat yourself up. Recognize it. repent and reset. God is not disappointed in you. He’s calling you back. He’s not chasing you, you are His. We its not looking to punish you, He wants to free you. To remind you that you don’t have to hustle for love, attention, or worth. You already have it in Him.
Start receiving what’s been waiting for you all along.
©️ 2025 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.
