Love in English
As a Christian mental health and life coach, I’ve learned that no matter our title or role in life, pain and emotions are universal experiences that don’t take any of it into consideration when they strike. It’s important to normalize these feelings and understand that managing our emotions is a part of the human journey. Whether we’re guiding others or seeking guidance ourselves, we all face confusion, losses, grieve, and must learn to adapt to new realities. Our titles do not exempt us from the trials of life; instead, they often deepen our understanding and empathy for those we help.
Navigating through my divorce has felt much like Ana’s experience in “Love in English” by Maria E. Andreu. When Ana moved from Argentina to New Jersey, she found herself in a place that felt foreign and unfamiliar, much like how I’ve felt after my divorce. Just as Ana struggled to find her voice in a new language and culture, I was plunged into a new reality that I feel I not asked for and still navigating to understand. The once familiar world now seems like a foreign country, filled with new challenges and emotional turmoil.
There are moments when I longe for the comfort of the past, just as Ana missed her home there are still times when I desperately miss the one. The conflicting emotions of wanting freedom from the painful aspects of my marriage and simultaneously missing my ex-husband can be overwhelming at times. I still often wish he would come back and say, “Let’s try this again,” mirroring Ana’s confusion as she navigated her feelings for Harrison and Neo, I find myself thorn between loving myself, and loving him.
But, like Ana, I still have to adapt to my new reality. I still have to learn to speak the “language” of a divorced, single mom and ultimately Christian woman. People might chastise you, talk, criticize you, and simply not understand; because they expect you to overcome things a certain way, but only you will know when you’re better, when you’re ready to overcome.
For me this means finding my strength, redefining my identity, and building a new life from the ground up. Over time, I will discover that this new language is not just about survival but about finding my voice and standing tall in my independence.
Ultimately, the journey after a divorce, like Ana’s, is about embracing the unknown, learning to navigate through the complexities of change, and finding a new sense of self in the process.
©️2024 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC Assoc. All rights reserved.
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