Let’s talk about Trauma Therapy, and Affairs. Press here to listen to this episode from my Podcast
But, first I want us to take a look at the definition of affair in general, and in personal/marital relationships.
af·fair
/əˈfer/
noun
1. an event or sequence of events of a specified kind or that has previously been referred to (something repetitive).
2. a sexual relationship between two people, one or both of whom are married to someone else (cheating).
Trauma-Therapy!
Having an affair [even a “pre-affair”] is an indication that some healing needs to take place in a person’s life. This includes witnessing and affair as a child, or growing up in a home where one of the parents had an ongoing affair. Having an affair as an adult and never seeking help to end it, or lacking to properly heal from them and moving on.
Healing from what was witnessed during childhood, teen trauma, or adulthood experiences is crucial.
Affairs come into place when there’s something somewhere in your soul that has been broken and the affair was just another vice to cover over the pain, hurt and brokenness. Affairs happen when you try to medicate the pain by disconnecting from the reality as you attempt to fill a gap that will remain void until you’ve done healing.
Affairs can be emotional, psychological, spiritual and of course the most commonly known physical.
Fix the brokenness and heal the pain and then learn to be faithful to yourself, and THEN your future significant other who may some day become your spouse. Healing is required to hold valuable long-lasting relationship not only with that person who will eventually become your spouse but also with those you do life with on a daily basis.
If you have grown up in a family of affairs or feel like you’re carrying any childhood trauma. Make sure that you do the work on yourself first before engaging in a relationship with someone else. By doing so you will obtain tools to self-help and prevent any possible future affairs. You will learn the importance of being honest and see meaningful change in yourself that will stop this behavior.
“If you don’t heal you’ll end that affair and begin another one.”
Affairs do not catch anyone by surprise there are 100 steps to end it before you begin it (learn how). You immediately know when the lines have been crossed or are closed to being crossed before you cross them.
1 Corinthians 10:13— “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. Everyone is not having affairs so we cannot normalize this behavior and it breaks down families and ruins the lives of children.”
What you have endured or are undergoing at this moment is not uncommon, it’s common to most people. Learn how to, seek help if you find yourself falling into a series of affairs—one after the other, and don’t know how to end this vicious unhealthy, destructive and dangerous behavior.
I hope you enjoyed this brief talk if you want to know more or need help in this matter feel free to reach out!
©️ 2021 Denise Kilby New Hope MHCLC. All rights reserved.
Oh, Happy Monday my beloved readers! Welcome February!
Hello, my beloved readers!
“Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles. Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly. But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.”
Love cares, respects, protects, builds, doesn’t harm, prepares and grows everyday!
Again, violence becomes abuse of power and it is not the way.
