Before we are able to assist anyone else we must take care of ourselves first.
Just like with the air masks on the airplanes where the protocol is to put on your own mask first (to shield yourself from danger and secure life) before assisting others, in the same matter is important to take care (to assist) our needs first, without becoming selfish, and be presently healthy, so that we can be there for those who may need us.
This is something that not everyone will agree with or understand. But if we are not mentally, physically, or spiritually healthy we serve no purpose in the lives of others and are as good as dead.
Taking time to prepare yourself is a process, and it could cause people to walk away from you and go seek help from others, be patience with yourself and understand that not everyone thinks the same way. Ask yourself the obvious, how could you possibly ?(reach your goal) of helping (assisting) or being present for yourself or others if you continually rush to assist them and fail to assist yourself with the breathing mask?
Do you have your goals on hold?
Don’t forget to breath. It might take seconds, minutes, days weeks, months, or even years before is over and you achieve your goal. Some people might be patient and wait until you’re ready; by understanding the process, by praying for you, supporting you, sheering you up, by patiently waiting right by your side or riding along with you. Other’s might have their mask on already and are waiting to help you put on your shield, but chances are that some might not understand at all and will walk away and get upset, call you selfish and complain, but something that everyone must do is respect the process.
No one on this earth can continuously feed the hunger or give water to those who thirst without a sustainable source. In order to be able to provide an endless supply of nutrients we must a have sustainable resource. I know that with God’s help we can all do this.
But what happens when we attempt to help others before we help ourselves? We a become people pleaser, and don’t meet their own needs sufficiently. According to Psychology Today a “People Pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know. They never say “no.” You can always count on them for a favor. In fact, they spend a great deal of time doing things for other people. They get their work done, help others with their work, make all the plans, and are always there for family members and friends. So far this sounds like a good thing. Unfortunately, it can be an extremely unhealthy pattern of behavior.” The problem with this type of behavior is that by pleasing everyone else people forget to please themselves and whilst they are happy to a certain extend by making everyone else happy when they come face to face with reality they realize that they have not reach their goals.
Forgetting about oneself and about our own goals can cause mental, physical and spiritual health issues. I want everyone to understand that there is nothing wrong with saying NO, in fact when one say YES to everyone else all the time one might be saying no to themselves without even noticing.
- Take action to achieve your goals, don’t leave your dreams on the pillow. Take time to breath and think about your future: plan what you want to do later on today (that’s your immediate future), tomorrow, the next day, and so on.
- Always get it all down in paper: when we write we get it done, or someone else might find it and will get inspired by and beat us to it but either way it’ll get done.
“Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.” (Habakkuk 2:2 NIV)
- Consider your talents and gifts: we all have talents, we are gifted with something that we are called and chosen for. Don’t minimize yourself to live a people pleasing life. Please God by living to your full God given potential FIND what has been deposited in you!
- I always say this and will continue to say, make small measurements (small achievable goals) that’s why I said starts with today: it is easier to think about what we are going to do later on today than about what we are going to do next year.
- Make an action plan: what step (single) are you taking first into achieving your goal? Finding a friend with similar qualities to help your move (action) be smoother or one with opposite point of view to challenge you? Are you going to look for a mentor or a life coach to help you sort this out and stay on track as well, or are you going to find a counselor to help you uproot past trauma that keeps you stuck in the same place?
- Assess what might have been holding you down: whether it was an illness or family member, financial status whatever it could have been write it down-remember we are working on changing that status. Sometimes when we are in physical pain is because we are also emotionally overwhelmed and the pains come out in physical form looking for a way to escape (find someone to talk to, pray, meditate on the word).
- Stay the course
- Don’t let guilt get in your head: don’t let anyone’s negative talk about your goals derail you from your plans. You have too much to do.
Whatever you decide to do, is absolutely fine as long as you decide to take action and dive into your future.
Please believe that you hold your future in your hands. Understand that “if your actions inspire other’s, to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader”- John Quincy Adams
Even while you’re pleasing other’s you have a huge audience watching you do it, STOP for a minute and think, why?; find yourself, your purpose, your calling, your talents and your leadership strength. Don’t be toss around by the wind (people) like the waves in the ocean. Stay the course and ALWAYS have a plan B.
Last but not least, don’t forget that I am for you with your best interest at heart.
Dream Believe Achieve
©️2020 Denise Kilby New Hope Life Coaching & Lay Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.