Generation Z Managing Stress

Let’s try to understand others shall we…

Sometimes as I look at my 19 year old son I think “he doesn’t even put any effort into trying to think” (is that even such a thing) okay judging free zone like planet fitness—don’t judge me—truth is that he thinks a lot more than I can even or ever imagine. I actually believe he is a lot like me (more than I’d like to admit right now) he studies people observes the world, the way people treat each other, the way people live, the way that I am, what I say verbally and non-verbally, the way I judge verbally and non-verbally as well, he is maturing in silence and even stressing in silence as well.

Is like when he does speaks he is letting out in two or three phrases everything he hasn’t said in two or three months. Have you ever wonder what this generation Z (young people full of silent life) think about? Gosh scary to think…but if you want to know i recommend you play a “Tell me something about your and how you feel” game with them— I’ll tell you more about it in a sec, but truth is that they might not tell you much while they are put on the spot (or sat in the hot chair) but the minute you start talking about them or trying to describe who they are or give them identity as a parent whether  in a jokingly manner or not boy I tell ya’!

Interesting, huh… well reason why I talk about this is because as I was saying he thinks a lot more than I can (or want to) imagine. The way that he manages stress is very different (and important for me to understand as a mom) than the way that I do. A lot of parents or adults don’t know how to talk to generation Z or how to approach them, they believe that they are silent in their own world and absolutely absent in the “reality” of the one we live in.

As a mom of three beautiful souls of this generation I was moved today to write a quick post to inspire my friends (all of you) and lovely readers to try to understand our younger generation, whether they are friends, neighbors, co-workers, siblings, step-kids, OUR OWN children, kids of friends , or an extended relative…etc.

Children let’s not expect but instead listen to their silent and respect their short phrases, make sense to their words and appreciate their feedback.—Denise

My 19 yr old son said to me yesterday that “I always thought I was right” in a little game that my 11 year old decided we driving to my mom’s house, called “Say something about yourself and how you feel” (the game I mentioned earlier). And I genuinely value his feedback and prayed about it, I so hope that I can listen to him more and allow him to express himself more as well (whether verbally or non-verbally), & that I can learn how to listen to him and understand him as well. Because as a coach and counselor I perhaps may be leading and guiding, directing all the time and not precisely doing much listening in my own family just because I posses a believe that “I know what I’m talking about and I can help” attitude and instead I am sending the wrong message because those are not my intentions. I have a lot to learn and my intentions are for all of us to grow together.

Perhaps I am not allowing them to talk, and they are stressed out, I thought (he wasn’t the only one to talk… it was pretty funny and things got interesting with the youngest one too-but real to me), while they were joking I was analyzing everything,  they are bottling stress and this can hinder their happiness and perhaps their future. I am not trying to shut them off (perhaps you’re not either) but they think that I am Mrs. Know it all and that they are “Team don’t have a voice/chance”. And that is not the case.

There’s is a part in the brain that is not fully develop until age 25, therefore they’re are not fully capable of comprehending and understanding things that someone over the age of 25 would be able to.

They escape, and focus on finding refugee to social media and use it as a source to “relieve stress” from annoying mom and dad. Social media is a stressor for young people today (for generation Z:people born in mid 90’s and 2000). They go to bed late and experience disturbance in sleep, headaches, mood swings, and more stress related symptoms. Social media can be a help or something that causes stress depending on how is being used. Learning how to manage and limit social media can limit stress, but if our young people are using it as way to seek happiness they can end up worse because there is such a diverse of lives that they can end up comparing theirs with and instead of feeling better they can end up worse.

Eating better and staying active, physically socializing and exercising is a great for young people to manage stress, reaching out to seek mental health professionally, counseling, therapy, finding a life coach or mentor can be very helpful to manage and minimize stress as well. Learning coping skills and how to address a situation to manage that stress effectively when it arises will help all of us to manage that stress effectively.

People are really feeling the effects of the environment and we need to be aware of what goes around us, which means that although the environment isn’t getting better we need to work harder at staying better and not letting it affect us. Whatever the issue is people should be active in those issue but understand that in life we can only control our thoughts, our actions and our own feelings—not anyone else’s. Therefore, the way things turn out to be might not always be the way we wish for but we can control the way we react to it.

We need to help our generation Z understand that reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Break the stigma. Working today on what we want to see tomorrow is the key to opening the door for the place we want to enter later. We all want to be safe in life, no one wants to be in danger, even those who have thoughts of hurting themselves know that they want to be hugged, and finding that safe haven starts by reaching out and asking for help. A lot of young people mistakingly speak base on thoughts and not true feeling and as adults (if you’re and adult reading this) is our job to step in and help.

If you’re under the age of 25 don’t feel like you’re weak or broken or immature, please know that you’re capable and use this as a guide to understanding yourself and perhaps helping others find a better way to managing stress.

Everyday is a new opportunity (as I always say) to begin again.

Today is the day today we’ve been given another opportunity to live, love, give thanks, love God, yourself, the creations, others, and enjoy life!

As always—thinking of you,

Denise Kilby

©️2018 Denise Kilby Life Coaching & Spiritual Counseling. All right reserved.

Anger and Lack of Communication

Humility Leads to Intimacy

Another key component of intimacy, as we read today, is humility. Humility brings us closer to others, since we prefer our spouse over ourselves. Too often we can think of marriage as a punctuation game where one of us has to “win”; unfortunately, if one of you “wins”, both lose. In marriage, both win or neither wins. That is why they should approach each other with humility and honesty, ready to serve each other. Nothing will bring you more intimacy in your marriage than humiliating yourself and recognizing every defect, frustration and imperfection that you have. Once you do this, then you can extend and receive grace with each other. And when do you do that? Just observe how deep you are going.

The Bible encourages the husband to enjoy this life that they are given with their wives

 [a]Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9 New King James Version NKJV)

I was watching a presentation video from school once and I heard Dr. Tim Clinton say “That can be very difficult when you sit down to think about everything that separates and tears a marriage apart right?” Those words touched the bottom of my heart and inspire me write this, “tear a marriage apart”. Can you stop for a second and think what are the reason that separate a marriage? Everything that separates a relationship seems to be bigger than what unites it. We do not expect a marriage to exist without anger but for a marriage to exist there must be communication, even in the midst of anger.

Approximately 90% of Americans get married, but between 40/50% separate what this means is that one in 4/5 divorce every day-this is because of “all the things that separate us/tear us apart”.

All the burdens of life, the mental and physical illnesses, the financial burdens, the burdens of work, the lack of time together, the responsibilities in the church, with the children … the hidden tears, and then we say this is not “as it should be” (we have a false perception of what it should be-once size does not fit all), schedules overloaded in our lives and we say “I did not signed up for this”, and we end up creating relationships where we are extremely loaded and discouraged, with an anguished soul that grieves the Spirit of God to the point that the Holy Spirit can no longer minister to us (I’m speaking to those who have a Christian faith now). This is for those who know God and have it, those who do not know him, perish-they get divorced and end up from one marriage to another because even in their sinful nature they understands deep in their  soul that God’s perfect intention is that we are not alone.

People who suffer in marriages or relationships end up in a state of disaffection (not affection) of disaffection, this happens because of pain, abuse, loneliness, stress, and all the things that are part of of daily life and that somehow work against relationships (intentionally or unintentionally) if there is a lack of communication and there is room for anger.

Nobody wants to live like this, nobody wants to be in that place, in that emotional, spiritual or physical state (because it brings physical wear too), discouragement, fatigue and even bad appearance. If we sit down to think about the things that are working against our marriages we can understand that not all the time are our spouses. Moreover, we can become the best friends of our spouses unite as warriors to defeat in prayer everything that gets in the way and wants to impede our communication.

They are spiritual wars, satanic, evil attacks that are behind the marriage because it is an agreement ordained by God, it is sacred is a soul, spiritual and corporal union that brings peace and strength. And Satan wants us weak (we reprimand the wickedness of the devil and the time in which [if ever] we gave him power).

Sometimes we bring and carry bad references of our pasts, of what they have told us, of what we let others say about us. We load that into our curriculum, our emotional resume, and bring it into our new marital relationships as if that holds any value, forgetting devaluing the word of God by doing so.

When He says through His word in:Hebrews 8:13

13 In that He says, “A new covenant,” He has made the first obsolete. Now what is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away. (New King James Version (NKJV)

Perhaps the way in which we show love is not the way our spouse would like then there will be a wrong door, communication is lost, because the message does not arrive… it’s not that we do not love, we love in our own way. We must love the way others need us to love them, and it is in our spouses to communicate how they like to be loved, to pray together so that the spirit of God reveals to both of them the path they have to walk.

We live in the era of the microwave, we want everything solved quickly, all without having to watch it, that others solve it for us. We do not want to veil the hole, we do not want to cook the roast or make the soups, we just want to heat the barbecue or buy the food and heat it up(we are talking about the marriage relationship still ya’ know so stop ya’ stomach here). This needs condiments, prayer, physical contact, fasting, tears, nakedness of the soul, talks that discover the colors of the heart and take out the skeletons of the closet to know why to pray for one another. Many times without realizing with our behavior and words we distance our spouses and they begin to look for security in another place.

The bible says that we should not sin in our anger, which shows that anger was a God given feeling-meaning that in our anger of FAITH (hope) we can reach and achieve great things, but if we use that feeling in a negative way we can make lots of errors and sin against God.

Expressing emotions is necessary, talking about what we feel is one of the greatest needs for our souls. —Denise

There is so much power in anger

How can we have anger and not sin in our marriage?

Believing that I can still use what I have inside, to be humble, grow intimately attached to my spouse, and apply it in a correct way, recognizing that I can still use it to achieve what WE want.

    1.  Talk about your emotions – Stabilize a place where you can clearly talk about what you feel, without judging one another and then take what does not please God in prayer (a place that does not hurt anyone or is near children ).
    2. Manage anger (or what is said to be unpleasant) – Learn to handle anger: How to calm yourself how to respond instead of reacting “He who is slow to anger is great of understanding; But he who is impatient in spirit exalts foolishness. ” (Proverbs 14:29 RVR1960)
    1.  Act don’t react: Read James 1:19-20  as often as needed!!! Listening and Doing “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,  because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires”.  —That verse will teach you to act and not react. In life we need to learn how to take action, to avoid unwanted reactions.
  1. Let love reign: “And if I had prophecy, and understood all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I had all faith, so as to remove the mountains, and have no love, I am nothing. And if I distribute all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, and have no love, it is of no use to me. ” (1 Corinthians 13: 2-3 RVR1960)

We can’t survive without one another, we must love each other unconditionally, take care of the spouse that God placed on your hands and know that you must submit to one another in love like no other.

“I, then, prisoner in the Lord, beg you to walk as is worthy of the vocation with which you were called, with all humility and meekness, bearing with patience one another in love,” (Ephesians 4: 1-2 NKJ1960)

Even the love we give to conjugate, to our children and to other people reflects what we are and how we give by grace what we have received by grace. Not just because he loves us first, but rather because we want to live to worship Him with our lives.

“For by grace you are saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God; not for works, so that no one can boast. ” (Ephesians 2: 8-9 NKJ1960)

It is necessary to fight, cry and even leave our drool and snot on the altars if necessary. God wants us to fight for what we want! Let’s fight hard, ask God to give us the courage, anger and humbleness to fight with for what we want, to be encouraged by His Holy Spirit, to teach us the right path, to take away from us all the pain of the past and allow us to communicate with one another without anger and in the peace that only the blood of Christ can give. In the name of Jesus, Amen!

Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.

(Psalm 126: 5NIV)

God bless you,

Denise Kilby

Continue reading “Anger and Lack of Communication”

Sexual Intimacy

Although sexual intimacy is not everything, it is very vital in the marriage relationship.

Yesterday I told you that sexual intimacy “is not everything”, right?

But before we go telling our spouses that is not important (or that we can opt out of it whenever) I want to break down to you why  is extremely important:

  • Marriage is a union of body, soul and spirit; that holds (stays together) with intimacy connection, and affection: we can break this down even more
  • For marriage to be strong, it is mandatory that there be intimacy that people know each other well, that they connect with one another, that they know the deepest secrets of their souls, and that they love each other deeply (without limits)
  • When this happens people come to love in this way: they make love (intimate sexually) they know and discover the bodies of each other, a connection of the soul is created that affirms and strengthens the union, and the love of the one for the another grows- creating a flame that cannot even be extinguish by all the fire departments of the world. Because this flame is spiritual.

Sex is not intended to be some kind of obligation or, as it was said in the old term, “conjugal duty”, sex is meant to be a wonderful moment of pleasure and enjoyment! In marriage, the sexual act is one of the most expressive, vulnerable and speechless ways in which you can create intimacy, since you and your spouse really enjoy each other’s company, which is something that today’s readings express wonderfully. So I suggest you create some time with your spouse today. Deepen your intimacy physically with each other. It is biblical!

Note: As long as there is a marriage bond established by God, there is no need to hide what God united and speak of it under smoke signals.

Creating time for each other is vital to your marriage and family relationship, your family’s happiness will depend on and be shaped by the love that arises in your bedroom (love not only sex-real love must arise).

The scriptures present us with beautiful ways of expressing ourselves with our spouses, I use them in my personal life and I trust that since they are sacred they are already anointed with a double portion of blessing.

Read the following and navigate in the sense of how far your soul can go.

You have captured my heart, my treasure,[a] my bride.
You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes,
    with a single jewel of your necklace.
10 Your love delights me,
    my treasure, my bride.
Your love is better than wine,
    your perfume more fragrant than spices.
11 Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride.
    Honey and milk are under your tongue.
Your clothes are scented
    like the cedars of Lebanon.

12 You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride,
    a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.
13 Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates
    with rare spices—
henna with nard,
14     nard and saffron,
    fragrant calamus and cinnamon,
with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes,
    and every other lovely spice.
15 You are a garden fountain,
    a well of fresh water
    streaming down from Lebanon’s mountains.

Young Woman

16 Awake, north wind!
    Rise up, south wind!
Blow on my garden
    and spread its fragrance all around.
Come into your garden, my love;
    taste its finest fruits. (Songs of Solomon 4:19-16 NLT)

They make anyone fall in love !

These words come clean but with double meaning, so that we can dedicate them, give them the meaning (without morbid) without corrupting and apply them to our lives.

What more wonderful than the sacred scriptures?

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
    running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets,
    your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone,
    never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
    may her breasts satisfy you always,
    may you ever be intoxicated with her love. (Proverbs 5: 15-19NIV)


The proverbs you just read speaks to us very clearly, of infidelity, of sexual immorality and of the importance of keeping one for the other. Yesterday when I was looking for scriptures for this series of devotionals, it never ceased to amaze me how the word of God can not be clearer. We have to be satisfied with what we have at home and stop comparing and wanting what the other has, working hard with what we have and praying that God will convert him into what he wants for us. Act with authority and respect. With courage in favor for what we want, and to always recreate one in the love of the other. We are already married!

“The husband fulfills the wife’s conjugal duty, and so does the wife with the husband. The woman has no power over her own body, but the husband; nor does the husband have power over his own body, but the woman. Do not deny each other, except for some time of mutual consent, to occupy yourselves peacefully in prayer; and come together again in one, so that Satan will not tempt you because of your incontinence. ” 1 Corinthians 7: 3-5 RVR1960

Watch one for the other, take care of your heart, try to be intimate, love without limits, be happy in front of the world but even more behind closed doors.

God bless you,

Denise Kilby

©️2018 Denise Kilby New Hope Life Coaching & Lay Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.

You Were Created to be One

Husbands and Wives: you were created to be one.

That is the way God created you and that is how you should be. So, why does it sometimes seem that you are very far from that ideal? Intimacy can suffer when we move away from our state ordained by God, and don’t draw together the image with which God created us; because he created us with a vision.

God made us man and woman with a dream per se. God has a Dream for us. We get married because we also have a dream for our lives but then-we get angry and want to leave our spouses sites, we insult and mistreat each other, we forget the beautiful things and we only see the ugly, even the physical attraction is lost, and often to serve the Lord comes first than serving our partners (but it is just an excuse to avoid being intimate) or not serving the Lord comes as an excuse because there is no privacy (no intimate connection) there is no one-on-one, or there is emotional abandonment.

Often, when we hear the words “intimacy” and “marriage”, we think that the conversation will be about sex. And yes, sex is important to build intimacy! But it is not the only aspect of true marital intimacy.

Over the next few days, embrace each other and accept the scriptures that you read as you learn more about how to deepen your intimacy on your path to a healthier and stronger marriage so that you can also fight with everything that comes over your home and your way.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found.  So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

   Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:18-25 NIV)

And from the rib of the man GOD himself brought out a woman, not to be less, or to be second, NOR to be more (that’s why the woman likes to be pampered) but also to be of appropriate help; help in everything possible.

See God’s plan was for man to take care of his woman and see her as help for him as well, to see her as equally and know that she was part of him and remember Him (God) at all times through her. Many times while we sleep God is working and taking from our being and depositing in the person He has chosen for our lives to take care of us His way, yet Eve ate the forbidden fruit it may not seem like she helped Adam much there huh, it actually looks like she got him in trouble-but it was Adam’s job to take care of her, she was supposed to help. Kinda’ like “one hand washes the other”, yeah you’re getting it.

God did not dedicate himself to look for guilty ones here, they hid themselves because of their own shame, he called them to come out of their hidden place. He told them to stop hiding. I ask you today are you hiding your marriage because of shame?

He could have finished with them or separated them right then and there. But instead (being God of course) He decided to leave them together (awesome sauce) because he united them until the end of their lives and so together they had to figure out a way to take care of one another, help each other and do life. They had to understand and fix their differences, but they also had to do it with the help of God.

Therefore, as long as there is no infidelity, no physical abuse, no irreparable spiritual corruption (and it goes without saying that with God and forgiveness everything is possible), marriage should not be broken even the intimate union for any weak reason.

You have to fight every day, look for new goals, new strategies, innovate ideas, and try to keep the flame of love burning at all times.

 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’[a] ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] and the two will become one flesh.’[c] So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (S. Mark 10: 6-9 NIV)

God bless you,

Denise Kilby

©️2018 Denise Kilby New Hope Life Coaching & Lay Christian Counseling. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

25 Movies About Mental Health To Watch

Spiritual Health Brings Mental Health & Mental Health Brings Physical Health

I  am a HUGE mental health advocate and I love the fact that Star Moon took the time to gather/search for movies that speak and help in some way create and bring mental health awareness.

Click on the link and visit the blog and pick some movies to watch this weekend! I’ve watch some myself and some others I will be watching this weekend (I cannot wait!). I will make sure to do with family as mental health awareness is something to share and create with others.

25 Movies About Mental Health To Watch

— Read on

As always my friends,

I have your best interest at heart, I read, write, study, and create with you in mind!

—Denise Kilby

©️2018 Denise Kilby New Hope Life Coaching & Lay Christian Counseling. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Inner Strength

Push yourself with such force to the surface that your inner strength comes out allowing you to be the best you everyday of your life.

Your thoughts will determine your day, think happy thoughts. Often times our thoughts are drowned by our problems and we become immovable not allowing our strengths to shine (i.e. help someone else not fall victim of low self-talk, give advice, etc.)—we even become selfish (let’s be honest) kind of like “if I don’t have you don’t have” perhaps not consciously thinking but subconsciously which is even worse.

The reason why I speak in general terms is because I know what it is to be at the bottom of the pit, in the lion’s den. Now, the why I don’t lose grip and faith is because I don’t smell like flesh, I know what’s been placed inside me, I know I have the Holy Spirit of God deposited in me and that is my inner strength, therefore I am aware that I can always seek within me to get back up and help others seek the Father above and ask for a deposit.

I know what it is to have nothing and yet had the strength to tell people “you will have it all”, I know the feeling that brings barley having any food in the fridge to feed your kids and the uncertainty of not event knowing when you will be able to fill the fridge again, and again…encouraging people to “not lose hope”.

Life is about that inner strength my friends about never giving up, about fighting for what you believe in about searching within you for the spirit of strength that was deposited in your soul.

I’ve known what it is to be typing an encouraging message from my phone while I have my car loan finance company call me because I am a month behind on my car payment because of my recent work loss due to my Fibromyalgia flares, IBS, Leaky Gut, Severe Migraines, (conditions that have been yet subject to diagnosis, Dr.’s appt/too many test/biopsies etc. too much into? Yes, I am human). Having to fight for unemployment while looking for a job where I can work despite my health conditions, but guess what life goes on and I must face the situation with strength.  rFrom the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence,4 and the violent take it by force. (Matthew 11:12ESV)

I know what it is to have a trouble teenager while I take a course on Adolescents Psychology and concentrate on a major in Marriage and Family Relations, I tell you more I know what it is to have a trouble marriage and find out your husband has been smoking marijuana for ever—or maybe never stopped since you met him…while you’ve been fighting (with him) for your son not to do it.

The health conditions just seem to be growing like the grass on a morning spring—the headaches are accumulating like the snow on a winter storm and the rain won’t cease like April shower.

Where to hide, and where to get strength from, where to go to and where not to go, where do I find the person I am trying to become? Is this all worth it?

Do I keep searching or do I give up now? How do I believe there is a God when all I see is evil right now?

This is the time my friends when we have to seek positivism and hold on to hope, find our inner strength, shut the chaos that’s around us, if we can’t do nothing about the circumstances, we can only go from here, try to inspire this world with our living testimony (unless we want to rot in misery) and fight!

I can consider myself a warrior even when I am lost in tears and I fall flat on my face every time I try and it didn’t work out as planned, I can certainly say I am not a victim I am a VICTOR I survived if I am alive there is a purpose, there’s a reason for me to keep going, there’s more ahead for me, there’s light at the end of this darkness, it’s time to declare and move by bold faith.

We have been under attack from the beginning of time and out war is not with flesh and blood, our war is with spiritual forces that take shape and are acted upon in the humanity of this world. Look around you and identify your oppressor, you may not find one in the physical form, it may just be your illness, your financial situation, your trouble teen, your marriage situation, to mention some—but at the end is all evil forces. Anything that is making you unhappy. Then think about what I just told you and meditate on how you can take back your happiness with violence, with prayer, with gratitude and strength.

Find that inner strength and if you don’t know how, find someone who can help you. Look for ways where you can see beyond the mountain and who can help you understand that you have the power of life and death in your tongue that if you say to that mountain “move, excuse me because here I come (even if you fall-get back up) and you are in my way” that mountain will move as you start taking steps and leaps of faith.

You must seek that inner strength within you, there’s more. You are more!

Trust, believe, achieve!

—Denise Kilby

©️2018 Denise Kilby New Hope Life Coaching & Lay Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.

Try Harder

How hard are you truly trying?

I am not saying what are you physically doing, what places are you going to, or what are you accomplishing in life?

I am saying how are you treating yourself, what’s the pep talk that you’re having with the inner you when times get hard? Are you repeating what everyone says to the themselves because that’s what you read on Facebook or Instagram, perhaps you’re just meditating getting back up and pretending things are going well because that’s how they’re going for the one neighbor down the street or the coworkers?

Let’s get real, let’s get connected, let’s feel our heart, feel your soul, break the fake, be genuine.

We can only try, we can’t expect things to be done without any forth effort or mere hope. We have to actively hope, think, strategize, make a plan to take action, move into the action we’ve chosen to take, and be persistent & consistent upon it.

It doesn’t matter how many times we failed in our past, it doesn’t count how many times we had a set back, it’s totally irrelevant the number of times we have been unable to effectively complete a task the way we wanted—let alone the way someone else expect us to.

Can I rise up and give it one more shot?! Can I try to motivate you one more time? can I speak from my soul and do what I was born to do?

We can ask for permission but we don’t need to wait for our permission to be granted to do what we were called to do.

I am not talking about a weak shot I’m talking about my best shot. You know I may fall face first and bust the living soul out me but then again I might rise up and leave a few mouthed open ready to receive the flies that are leaving tomb like when Lazarus rose after Jesus said “Lazarus get up!”.

Let me get more personal here, whatever you’re going through right now is not a matter of death you know, it may stink already, it may hurt, it seem like the whole opposite of wellness and success and guess what THAT’S okay normal prognosis-natural course due to the circumstances and the situations that have been built from them… but I tell you AGAIN what you are going through right now is not a matter of death! This is not meant to kill you! You will not die from this! You will not be defeated! You will get back up! You will get up stronger! You will become more, because you are more! This is part of the process that is needed for your testimony, that will help you get many others back up in life. This is for the unbelievers who never thought that you could make it in life, this is for the hopeless, when you get to the other side you will not even have to speak to say “I told you so”, because your life story will speak for you.

Keep pushing on, get back up and give it another shot, not a cheap shot at revenge or a weak shot at trying. Be genuine and become the best you and live in that mindset everyday so that you can operate in an effective manner everyday of your life even when the world sees you or believes that you’re falling apart.

Many people will sell you out to your enemies, will lie to you and betray you, will lie to others about you, and speak evil of you behind your back. Betrayal will hurt and sting your soul but you have greater things coming your way and you have the power and hope of resurrection awaiting for you telling you and confirming you that it doesn’t matter who may have left you what matters is that you don’t lose hold and grip of your soul.

-Joseph was left and sold by his brothers, I do not know if you were left somewhere. But God is waiting for you to come to Him to teach you where He will take you, where the tea party will be.

-The one who left your life does not matter anymore, the one who left you or abandoned you lost what he let go of , the one who died remains in a beautiful memory or in a bitter one (but if it is bitter the pain will consume your soul)

– Life will hit you hard at times (the enemy because life is beautiful and a beautiful gift), your bad decisions will have consequences, but God is HERE to change, restore, rebuild, and tell you TALITHA CUMI “Arise” Mark 5:41 (ASV)


– Because you insist on living in pain, bitterness, sadness, and turmoil when God wants to solidify in your life to heal your souls, and establish his permanent spirit in you for all eternity.

– Remember that an injured soul hurts a soul and the cycle continues, but a soul that seeks Christ in time and is restored and healed inspires others and the cycle of pain ends and one of healing begins.

Can I say that I will try again, I will push with all my strength!

I refuse to this world fall on my shoulders and not do anything about it, I believe there’s is more for me because I understand that I am more in Him.

You are more,

—Denise Kilby

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