When seeking help, offered help, or help is suggested and resistance arises instead of your hand to reach the one that is being extended to you that’s a sign that help is needed.
Here are some common client responses that communicate resistance:
- “I don’t need help. I only came because my wife [or husband, dating partner, or whoever] brought me here.”
- “She [or he] is the problem! Fix her, not me.”
- “I don’t [or am not sure I can] trust you.”
- “Are you a born-again [or committed or Spirit-filled] Christian?”
- “You can’t help me. You haven been through what I have.”
- “Your life is perfect.” “Your kids don’t get in trouble like mine.”
- “I don’t believe in counseling.”
- “This must be done my -[or God’s] way or I don’t do it.”
- “I need to pray about it first.”
- “I can see I need some help, in some areas, but not everything you’re saying.”
- “But I’ve already done that and it doesn’t work.”
- “Nothing is going to work.”
- “This is too hard.”
- “I don’t know what I want from this.” (Some are from the AACC—some are from me)
When resistance becomes a shield in the place where openness should be present, as a counselor we need to use that as an opportunity to come in and use new techniques that will help the client grow into the person they were created to be which is the ultimate goal. Timothy Clinton and George Ohlschlager say in their Competent Christian Counseling book that “Resistance is an endemic to counseling and helping relationships.” So when we become resistant to receiving help we are protecting the disease instead of allowing the antidote to cure it.
If you notice you’re being resistance instead of accepting the help that is being offered to you I exhort you to be open put down the shield, hold that hand that is extended waiting for you and climb the later that will take you to your God given destiny.
- Biology is not a destiny.
- This culture and society does not need to shape you and will not determine your character.
- You don’t need to blame your genetics anymore you have your own identity and you can become whatever you want!
- You can discover your own God-fulfilled prophecy.
- You don’t need to pretend to be extreme self-sufficient anymore you can lean on to someone else and THAT IS OKAY and HEALTHY!
Let’s go! Today is the day, can you say you’re ready to give this a try? To give it a good shot of faith? I mean we work by faith believing we’ll get a pay check but without any assurance of it huh… yeah it takes conviction to do a lot of things in life after all.
I think we can all do a little more for ourselves than work for someone else hoping they won’t bail out disappear and not pay us ok pay day—things happen! Miracles happen too my dear!
#ibelieve do you believe in yourself? I believe you can anything that you set your heart out to do!
As always with your best interest at heart!
Your friend, coach, mentor, sister, listener and prayer warrior;
—Denise Kilby #letsconnect contact me below without fear!